FictionPress.com - RandomTurdBurger's fanfiction

Laughing Dead

2005-08-17T21:58:59-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Young Adult
Language: English, Fiction Rated: T
Genres: Fantasy/Humor
Chapters: 2, Words: 1,313, Reviews: 0 Updated: 8-17-05, Published: 4-6-05
Status: Complete

The story of Morris, a nerdy vampire obsessed with drinking straws and pickaxes, trying to stay employed and avoid attention. Of course life - or unlife - isn't going to let him off that easy The second book in my vampire series.

Blissful Madness

2005-03-24T21:40:43-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Love
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 119, Reviews: 3 Updated: 3-24-05, Published: 3-24-05
Status: Complete

...

Black Out

2005-03-21T19:00:35-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Love
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 89, Reviews: 4 Updated: 3-21-05, Published: 3-21-05
Status: Complete

Why was goodbye so hard when I knew I'd be with him again soon?

Just Another Monday

2005-03-18T19:55:53-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Work
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 22, Reviews: 2 Updated: 3-18-05, Published: 3-18-05
Status: Complete

wrote this nearly eons ago, about a bad day at work.

Another Dead Friend

2005-03-07T18:54:22-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Friendship
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Tragedy/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 59, Reviews: 3 Updated: 3-7-05, Published: 3-7-05
Status: Complete

For my little sister, whose kitten was killed on the road this morning

Broken Glass

2005-03-07T18:52:32-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 46, Reviews: 1 Updated: 3-7-05, Published: 3-7-05
Status: Complete

fighting with my mum and throwing stuff... ooh, angsty

Seven an Hour

2005-02-26T17:34:13-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Work
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 99, Reviews: 0 Updated: 2-26-05, Published: 2-26-05
Status: Complete

I hate my job, so what else is new?

Pinwheels

2005-02-20T19:12:41-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 12, Reviews: 0 Updated: 2-20-05, Published: 2-20-05
Status: Complete

A simple toy, and simple thoughts concerning such

The End

2005-02-08T19:18:42-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Family
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 56, Reviews: 4 Updated: 2-8-05, Published: 2-8-05
Status: Complete

a sort of goodbye to my grandmother

Fairy Tale

2005-02-06T11:39:23-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Fantasy
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 4, Words: 1,012, Reviews: 12 Updated: 2-6-05, Published: 2-3-05
Status: Complete

Grinding Grimm, Goose, and Hans Christian Anderson into the dust... no fair helpless maidens allowed

Spinning

2005-02-03T19:54:14-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 171, Reviews: 0 Updated: 2-3-05, Published: 2-3-05
Status: Complete

Lying down upside down while high on caffiene is a good way to write strange poems

Imagination

2005-01-28T19:36:15-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 63, Reviews: 3 Updated: 1-28-05, Published: 1-28-05
Status: Complete

The title says it all, so I'm not going to

Nonsense

2005-01-24T11:02:46-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 92, Reviews: 3 Updated: 1-24-05, Published: 1-24-05
Status: Complete

Kids, this is why your mother tells you not to consume caffiene before bed...

Joust

2005-01-24T11:01:22-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 13, Reviews: 2 Updated: 1-24-05, Published: 1-24-05
Status: Complete

a cinquain

More Thoughts of Thinking

2005-01-24T11:00:11-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 30, Reviews: 0 Updated: 1-24-05, Published: 1-24-05
Status: Complete

Thinking too much can be bad... ooh, insomnia and caffiene quality poetry!

Doors

2005-01-24T10:55:35-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 23, Reviews: 3 Updated: 1-24-05, Published: 1-24-05
Status: Complete

Ever have one of those doors that just refuses to close, no matter how hard you slam it shut?

Escape

2005-01-24T10:53:50-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 46, Reviews: 1 Updated: 1-24-05, Published: 1-24-05
Status: Complete

Trying to escape loneliness

Intruder

2005-01-23T14:53:35-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 476, Reviews: 3 Updated: 1-23-05, Published: 1-23-05
Status: Complete

No idea what category this should be in, or how to describe it. Don't take it seriously, whatever you do.

Memories on the Radio

2004-12-07T22:11:08-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 43, Reviews: 2 Updated: 12-7-04, Published: 12-7-04
Status: Complete

Who knew listening to Pink Floyd could cause me to write a non-angsty poem?

Mask

2004-12-07T22:06:40-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 50, Reviews: 1 Updated: 12-7-04, Published: 12-7-04
Status: Complete

Dark, angst, metaphorical, hard to summarize... it must be one of my poems

A Rose of Black

2004-12-07T22:04:16-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 46, Reviews: 1 Updated: 12-7-04, Published: 12-7-04
Status: Complete

ooh look... another gothy angsty poem. not one of my better poems, but if you want to read it, that's your fault not mine.

Darkened Mind

2004-12-07T22:00:37-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 34, Reviews: 1 Updated: 12-7-04, Published: 12-7-04
Status: Complete

not in the best of moods when i wrote it

Wandering

2004-11-01T23:17:12-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 68, Reviews: 1 Updated: 11-1-04, Published: 11-1-04
Status: Complete

Needing to do something different in life. I'm so bad at writing descriptions.

Halloween

2004-11-01T23:10:59-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 974, Reviews: 1 Updated: 11-1-04, Published: 11-1-04
Status: Complete

Another glimpse into my insane existance in the form of a short story

Just Dive In

2004-10-23T19:33:25-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 241, Reviews: 2 Updated: 10-23-04, Published: 10-23-04
Status: Complete

Break free from the sameness and dive into life

Out from the Mire

2004-10-23T19:09:52-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Religion
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Spiritual/Horror
Chapters: 1, Words: 112, Reviews: 1 Updated: 10-23-04, Published: 10-23-04
Status: Complete

A metaphorical poem I wrote after coming back from a bout of depression

Nature's Games

2004-10-17T11:23:04-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Nature
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 17, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-17-04, Published: 10-17-04
Status: Complete

The title says it all

Dancing Alone

2004-10-15T18:49:43-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 29, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-15-04, Published: 10-15-04
Status: Complete

No wonder my floor is so scuffed up...

Tired

2004-10-15T18:41:59-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 33, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-15-04, Published: 10-15-04
Status: Complete

Bent under life's burdens

Quiet

2004-10-15T18:40:03-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 33, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-15-04, Published: 10-15-04
Status: Complete

No idea what genre to put this under, or how to summarize.

Ilsanaro's Eulogy

2004-10-07T11:08:23-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Parody/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 67, Reviews: 1 Updated: 10-7-04, Published: 10-7-04
Status: Complete

Written for a friend. They ken who they are.

Paperclip

2004-10-06T18:53:06-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 13, Reviews: 3 Updated: 10-6-04, Published: 10-6-04
Status: Complete

That menacing intruder of Microsoft Word...

Gargoyle

2004-10-06T18:51:12-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General/Horror
Chapters: 1, Words: 10, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-6-04, Published: 10-6-04
Status: Complete

Inspired by my little stone friend

Unquiet

2004-10-04T18:28:40-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: General
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Poetry/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 70, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-4-04, Published: 10-4-04
Status: Complete

It's all my chaotic family's fault that my muse has run away...

Moonlit Insanity

2004-10-03T10:44:53-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,145, Reviews: 2 Updated: 10-3-04, Published: 10-3-04
Status: Complete

The idiots are invading, the glowing plush duck want to kill me, and disaster strikes in the form of a borrowed skateboard. Just another typical night... And yes, this did really happen.

Hate

2004-10-03T09:17:45-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 141, Reviews: 0 Updated: 10-3-04, Published: 10-3-04
Status: Complete

A serious cinquain... now that's a first. A battle against prejudice.

Shadow of a Dream

2004-10-02T22:02:40-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 29, Reviews: 1 Updated: 10-2-04, Published: 10-2-04
Status: Complete

A freeform poem... Just another one of those wierd dreams...

Pictures

2004-10-02T22:00:43-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Friendship
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 58, Reviews: 1 Updated: 10-2-04, Published: 10-2-04
Status: Complete

Memories of my former best friend resurfacing...

Thoughts of The End

2004-10-02T19:33:32-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 147, Reviews: 1 Updated: 10-2-04, Published: 10-2-04
Status: Complete

A metaphorical poem... it's hard to explain

Bored

2004-09-28T19:22:08-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 42, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-28-04, Published: 9-28-04
Status: Complete

And just when you thought I'd run out of cinquains, I write one about writing cinquains! And I bet you're starting to get tired of me saying cinquain by now...

Rain

2004-09-28T19:20:34-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Nature
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 10, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-28-04, Published: 9-28-04
Status: Complete

A cinquain about the rain

Sister

2004-09-28T19:19:22-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Family
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 41, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-28-04, Published: 9-28-04
Status: Complete

I considered labeling this horror, but I'll be nice to her. For now at least.

Holocaust

2004-09-28T10:28:33-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: War
Language: English, Fiction Rated: T
Genres: Horror/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 165, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-28-04, Published: 9-28-04
Status: Complete

A poem based on the concentration camps of WWII.

The Duck

2004-09-28T10:26:56-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Horror
Chapters: 1, Words: 36, Reviews: 4 Updated: 9-28-04, Published: 9-28-04
Status: Complete

Who knows what was going through my mind when I wrote this?

Voices

2004-09-27T19:05:06-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 49, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-27-04, Published: 9-27-04
Status: Complete

We're not skitzophrenic! They really do talk to me!

Why

2004-09-25T17:48:30-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 147, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-25-04, Published: 9-25-04
Status: Complete

Call it a freeform, or just a rant in poetry form... It's about wanting to break free from the mind-controlling world and be an individual.

Coffee Thoughts

2004-09-24T08:22:34-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Friendship
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 100, Reviews: 2 Updated: 9-24-04, Published: 9-24-04
Status: Complete

Funny how a cup of coffee can make you think of someone...

Eulogy to the Suicidal

2004-09-24T08:19:59-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 196, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-24-04, Published: 9-24-04
Status: Complete

This poem is purely fictional, though I’m sure it applies to many of those left behind by suicidal friends.

Fatherless

2004-09-21T19:35:07-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Family
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 116, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-21-04, Published: 9-21-04
Status: Complete

How can it be wrong to hate someone who has nothing but trickery and hatred to give?

Little Voices

2004-09-16T17:53:44-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 62, Reviews: 0 Updated: 9-16-04, Published: 9-16-04
Status: Complete

I really hate babysitting...

Rubber Chicken

2004-09-16T17:51:33-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 13, Reviews: 2 Updated: 9-16-04, Published: 9-16-04
Status: Complete

The simple joys of a rubber chicken

School

2004-09-15T19:05:46-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: School
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 73, Reviews: 2 Updated: 9-15-04, Published: 9-15-04
Status: Complete

I know it's kind of dorky... I wrote it for my little sister

Hurt

2004-09-15T19:04:09-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 40, Reviews: 1 Updated: 9-15-04, Published: 9-15-04
Status: Complete

This is about someone I used to look up to.

Alone

2004-09-15T19:02:00-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 80, Reviews: 1 Updated: 9-15-04, Published: 9-15-04
Status: Complete

I wrote this while in an extremely bad mood... it isn't really true for me, but we all feel this way sometimes, right?

After Dark

2004-09-06T07:35:06-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 782, Reviews: 2 Updated: 9-6-04, Published: 9-6-04
Status: Complete

A typical night for an insomniac. Sadly this story happens all the time at my house.

High on You

2004-08-21T18:11:18-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Love
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Romance/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 56, Reviews: 3 Updated: 8-21-04, Published: 8-21-04
Status: Complete

Okay, I know I swore never to write anything sappy... (rated pg for mentions of drug use)

From Inside a Locker

2004-08-20T10:29:13-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: School
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 62, Reviews: 8 Updated: 8-20-04, Published: 8-20-04
Status: Complete

Have you ever been shoved into someone else's locker?

Abuse

2004-08-20T10:04:30-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Tragedy/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 116, Reviews: 2 Updated: 8-20-04, Published: 8-20-04
Status: Complete

It could be anyone you know... It happens all too often

Insomniac

2004-08-20T10:02:55-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 20, Reviews: 7 Updated: 8-20-04, Published: 8-20-04
Status: Complete

A cinquain about how my life doth stink

Farewell

2004-08-20T09:27:41-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Humor
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 44, Reviews: 2 Updated: 8-20-04, Published: 8-20-04
Status: Complete

To the deceased

Shadow

2004-08-12T10:45:36-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: School
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Angst/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 103, Reviews: 5 Updated: 8-12-04, Published: 8-12-04
Status: Complete

Have they tried to make you a shadow just like me?

Plea of an Insane Soul

2004-08-12T10:39:14-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 168, Reviews: 3 Updated: 8-12-04, Published: 8-12-04
Status: Complete

What would it be like to be locked in a padded cell?

Dance at the Pub

2004-08-12T10:29:15-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 148, Reviews: 3 Updated: 8-12-04, Published: 8-12-04
Status: Complete

Based on an evening I spent in a pub in Dublin last summer.

The Brook

2004-08-12T10:20:37-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Nature
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 117, Reviews: 1 Updated: 8-12-04, Published: 8-12-04
Status: Complete

A freeform poem

NeverEnding Dreams

2004-08-11T18:57:10-08:00

Author: RandomTurdBurger
Category: Life
Language: English, Fiction Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 65, Reviews: 2 Updated: 8-11-04, Published: 8-11-04
Status: Complete

the title describes it well enough