FictionPress.com - thewhimsicalbard's stories

Fog

2013-06-18T01:42:57-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Haiku
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 12, Reviews: 1, Complete

In valleys and in swamps.

Pillars

2013-06-18T01:27:55-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 309, Reviews: 0, Complete

"And normally I write about she / but she isn't. She just isn't." Of fingers, seasons, and possibly a woman.

Four Dollars

2013-05-21T15:34:11-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 285, Reviews: 1, In-Progress

Of love, guilt, and a pack of metaphorical cigarettes.

Objects

2013-03-04T00:39:41-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 482, Reviews: 2, In-Progress

In these inanimate things, I will store memories. A chronology. "It was a waltz between two young souls / kept up late by the desire to see the world become silent / and revel in it."

Time Travel

2013-01-23T13:59:59-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 245, Reviews: 3, Complete

A short story of love and ignorance.

Eldest

2012-11-02T12:56:48-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Family
English, Rated: K
Poetry/Family
Chapters: 1, Words: 469, Reviews: 4, Complete

For the Review Game's November 2012 WCC. Dedicated to my mother.

This Highway Dark

2012-10-03T10:50:36-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 142, Reviews: 5, Complete

Of night drives and my oldest demons. A villanelle.

Blacked Out

2012-09-07T10:08:29-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: T
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 172, Reviews: 2, Complete

"Woman is the gateway drug." For the RG's September 2012 WCC.

What Calls Me Home

2012-08-22T13:18:51-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 253, Reviews: 2, In-Progress

Please see I Am Driving Down A Highway Dark for the revised version. /aeds/

Lord of the Dance

2012-03-07T18:07:51-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 348, Reviews: 5, Complete

Do you feel the rhythm of them both? For the March 2012 WCC.

The Giftgiver's Requiem

2012-02-17T16:42:35-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 137, Reviews: 4, Complete

Accompaniment for a fairy tale with an unsatisfactory ending. /slb/

i will not reinvent the piano

2012-02-15T14:16:59-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 132, Reviews: 2, Complete

an irrythm-break /slb/

Only Pair

2012-02-15T13:59:22-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 246, Reviews: 3, Complete

"feet even Jesus would turn his nose at." /aeds/

Eden in Flames

2011-09-13T13:32:58-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K+
General
Chapters: 1, Words: 591, Reviews: 6, Complete

Chain the wind, shape the water, move the earth.

On Scientific Progress

2011-07-01T12:02:44-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Essay
English, Rated: K+
General
Chapters: 1, Words: 516, Reviews: 4, Complete

My scientific mind indulges itself in metaphors.

Hat

2011-06-06T10:45:55-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K+
Drama/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,077, Reviews: 19, Complete

June 2011 WCC winner. "I can understand wearing a hat that represents one hundred years of total failure to your calculus final, but this is going to be the greatest concert you've ever been to."

Morning Sips

2011-04-19T11:09:12-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Haiku
English, Rated: T
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 12, Reviews: 7, Complete

A scientific study. Really.

Möbius

2011-04-06T21:01:55-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: T
General
Chapters: 1, Words: 270, Reviews: 19, Complete

Winner of the April-May 2011 WCC. "Look left, child."

First Shot of Whiskey

2011-03-06T16:48:55-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: T
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 21, Reviews: 9, Complete

What in the world happened last night?

Yewman Writes

2011-03-05T19:01:20-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: T
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 177, Reviews: 7, Complete

Currently under repair. For the March 2011 WCC.

Serotonin

2011-02-01T15:25:32-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 317, Reviews: 11, Complete

Currently under repair. For the February 2011 WCC.

The Blues

2010-12-09T17:53:31-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Young Adult
English, Rated: T
General
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,958, Reviews: 10, Complete

My first short story. "Whenever I see a girl, I hear a guitar lick. That isn't a metaphor, either."

We are too much like old men

2010-12-09T13:53:39-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: T
General/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 259, Reviews: 10, Complete

Everyone dies. Be one of the few who truly lives. /aeds/

Nepenthe

2010-11-06T19:10:51-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K+
Suspense/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 293, Reviews: 12, Complete

For the November 2010 WCC. "Weaving strings of seductive poison into your veins."

Poem for My Wenis

2010-10-27T08:43:08-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Humor
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 69, Reviews: 6, In-Progress

Do you want to see my wenis?

Milk

2010-10-27T08:31:13-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 191, Reviews: 4, Complete

Because blood lies.

forever: a terrible idea, I said to her

2010-10-17T16:12:11-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 123, Reviews: 6, In-Progress

Am I a climber, or do I fall down mountains? A/N: experimental

Memphis Ghazal

2010-10-08T17:15:17-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 118, Reviews: 4, Complete

This is a traditional form of poetry from India. It is traditionally used to express regret for something unattainable. It is, in a word, "blues."

The Lay of Orelleos

2010-10-08T15:47:06-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Fantasy
English, Rated: K
Fantasy/Poetry
Chapters: 2, Words: 1,048, Reviews: 4, In-Progress

My continuing attempt at the creation of my own mythology. See King Bill for the other part. Note the rhyme scheme and meter on this one.

Aqua Vitae

2010-10-04T21:46:38-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: T
General/Drama
Chapters: 1, Words: 977, Reviews: 15, Complete

For the October 2010 WCC. "She opened her mouth to drink him in, to be with him again."

A Dubious Goal

2010-09-23T09:09:39-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Humor
English, Rated: T
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 79, Reviews: 5, Complete

In the spirit of Dee - "I will ink the pitchless moan / of a stenciled nipple's ecstasy"

Oxidation

2010-09-07T12:41:48-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Haiku
English, Rated: K
Mystery/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 13, Reviews: 6, Complete

But what does the dream MEAN?

Habit

2010-09-07T12:25:29-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K+
Adventure/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 151, Reviews: 4, Complete

Practice makes what?

PS I'd Rather Be Sleeping

2010-09-07T12:13:24-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Humor
English, Rated: K
Angst/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 60, Reviews: 5, Complete

Written to cure writer's block. Please note that this poem is terrible.

The somber bells have gone someplace

2010-09-07T12:05:36-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K
Spiritual/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 80, Reviews: 2, Complete

A rare moment of sight.

One day a gangly man told me

2010-09-02T21:37:02-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 107, Reviews: 14, In-Progress

I don't want a real job. /cw/

Los Angeles

2010-08-19T19:30:11-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 172, Reviews: 4, Complete

or, "What happens to a dream deferred?"

Tell Your Eyes

2010-08-03T20:32:45-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: M
Poetry/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 378, Reviews: 11, Complete

I'm burning in hell for writing this. Don't believe me? Take a look. /mc/

To The Lady Pachabel

2010-07-25T18:49:26-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 277, Reviews: 5, In-Progress

Currently under repair.

Intro

2010-07-21T14:01:34-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 63, Reviews: 3, Complete

This is not a rebel song.

In the rings of the golden sun

2010-07-21T13:44:47-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 70, Reviews: 3, Complete

Cigarettes, not cigars.

A Thank You

2010-07-21T13:18:53-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Humor
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 169, Reviews: 10, Complete

I am big on my manners, even in unexpected situations.

For Shame, Ares

2010-07-05T20:50:41-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
War
English, Rated: T
Tragedy/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 391, Reviews: 4, In-Progress

Currently under repair. For the July 2010 WCC.

What is a man amidst a couch?

2010-06-27T18:10:27-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: M
Poetry/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 235, Reviews: 5, Complete

A study of Idaho-grown individuals. Rated for language.

Thewhimsicalbard, Too

2010-06-20T01:30:30-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Angst/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 276, Reviews: 7, Complete

Musings on drunken behaviors-texts, attitudes, and logic-unrequited love, and Shawshank Redemption as they relate to all of us. /mc/

King Bill

2010-01-27T20:01:30-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Fantasy
English, Rated: K
Poetry/Adventure
Chapters: 1, Words: 874, Reviews: 6, Complete

My own mythology that I wrote in poetic form. It's very typical, but I had a ton of fun writing it. It got published in our school's literary magazine, too!

Elements of Gray

2010-01-27T19:58:56-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K
Poetry/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 216, Reviews: 5, Complete

A poem I wrote for English class that turned out well enough for me to want to publish it up here.

miss brightest star

2010-01-23T22:28:41-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 327, Reviews: 15, Complete

And that makes me a black hole? /mc/

Prosetry

2010-01-04T22:12:40-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 354, Reviews: 7, Complete

Written for and inspired by my friend bluewitness. /aeds/

Funny People

2010-01-03T20:40:27-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Humor
English, Rated: K+
Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 752, Reviews: 8, In-Progress

New Radicals put it best when they said, "You only get what you give." For all of the funny people on this site.

She Plays Bass

2010-01-02T21:46:23-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Young Adult
English, Rated: K
General
Chapters: 1, Words: 570, Reviews: 11, Complete

Advice for the aspiring musician. /aeds/

I Guess Not

2010-01-02T21:23:38-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
School
English, Rated: K
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 104, Reviews: 4, Complete

I really don't even know why I still have this poem up here... It's terrible. Don't read it.

Mom Called It Notsaliga, or Something

2010-01-01T08:45:49-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K
Poetry/Family
Chapters: 1, Words: 197, Reviews: 9, Complete

For anyone who's had a kid, is a kid, or ever was one.

Senior Speech

2009-12-27T20:11:19-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: M
General
Chapters: 1, Words: 252, Reviews: 5, Complete

At the end of practice on Thursdays before our football games, one senior gives a speech to the team. This was mine, given before our game against our rivals on the south side. Rated for violent meat-head content. Our colors are blue and white.

Could you compare me to a summer day?

2009-12-27T19:55:32-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Humor
English, Rated: T
Parody/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 129, Reviews: 7, Complete

I don't like the chick Shakespeare wrote this poem about. She's a spoiled brat.

Black Eyes

2009-12-27T16:48:20-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Horror
Chapters: 1, Words: 86, Reviews: 5, Complete

A criticism.

Wanderlust

2009-12-27T16:20:34-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 206, Reviews: 24, Complete

This piece warrants no further explanation. /aeds/

The Watcher of Winter

2009-12-26T22:32:51-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Nature
English, Rated: K
Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 97, Reviews: 6, Complete

This is what happens when it snows and you idolize Robert Frost, but you just aren't as good as he is.

Pulse

2009-12-26T20:39:24-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: T
Poetry/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 52, Reviews: 6, Complete

Unfortunately, this is fiction. /ck/

Gray Wings

2009-12-26T20:36:56-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
General
English, Rated: K
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 65, Reviews: 5, Complete

Read the poem any set of three lines at a time.

Breaking

2009-12-26T20:34:25-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Love
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 80, Reviews: 8, Complete

Fancy a quick game of ceramic frisbee? /jls/

What is true silence

2009-12-26T20:28:17-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Nature
English, Rated: K
General/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 57, Reviews: 12, Complete

................

in each streetcornered bard

2009-12-26T20:24:54-08:00

Author: thewhimsicalbard
Life
English, Rated: K+
Poetry/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 40, Reviews: 6, Complete

If FP accepted my formatting, this would easily be one of my best poems ever. Alas, such is not the case. Under semi-permanent construction.