Hmm... I sense a plot twist coming up here? We shall see.

Short and well put.

Hmm... required more concentration than the last chapter, but it's fine.

Ok, since I can understand Paranoia Agent, I think I can handle this format. So far, I see that Thomas has run into some trouble with the very people he rented his castle to. It'll be interesting to see what more comes out of it.

It's an interesting idea to format the story like this, but I don't think you've pulled it off quite right. The story is very choppy with a different character continuing the narrative every other paragraph. With it like this, the reader doesn't really get a sense for what the whole situation is like--there are some aspects of the story being left out when you give each character just a paragraph for us to view their perspective. Things like who the knights are and what exactly they stand for, who Christa and Dior truly are, what's happening to Thomas and who the man with the hounds is. Your story is interesting and could be better if you really lavish the reader with more details on the situation and the characters and put it into the traditional prose format.

Very, very interesting. The only thing I disliked was how people spoke. Putting a hyphen and then the name of the person who spoke bothered me. Other than that, I bet you had a fun time writing it and all I can say is that I enjoyed the twelve chapters.

very good...i would have expected all the viewpoints switching to be confusing...but au contraire! it made the story that much better.
leigh

interesting how it switches viewpoints continuously, and isn;t hard to follow. this is looking like it's going to be a very interesting story.