I sincerely hate to say this: stop posting chapters, find a good editor, and just write a trilogy out already, seriously. From what the visions tell, this story has enough potential to be a good trilogy. In fact, it sort of reminds me of Mercedes Lackey's work with Valdemar. Don't know if you'd find that flattering or not, but my point is, you could sell this, and sell it well.

The work is rough, you need an editor to help smooth out some sentence structure. Filling out is evidently required; your countries hardly have names and practically no background info. It's a good rough draft. An incredibly good rough draft.

One of the dangers of posting this story is that you could probably be influenced by your fans to turn it into something it isn't, which I think is the most prominent downside of having a fan-base. I'd LOVE to read any more chapters you put up, I won't deny, but I think it would be even cooler to find this printed and published several year, longer if needed, from now.

That's it for now. I'll be around.

So good! I especially love the story line, because it's unpredictable (in a good way) and I just LOVE IT! Can't wait to read MORE!

Oh, wow I really like this story! I almost didn't click on it but then at the last second I did and now I'mn glad I did!

YAY!

Can't wait for more!

Lee

Freakin sweet! what would be cool is a little more description on the world they live in, also some more story on the war that happened.

What the dynians are and their purpose and creed would be super awesome.

Nothing more to say other than wicked story and I want to see the next chapter

cheers Tim

cough cough. hello. is anybody there. did i mention your uke would make the perrfect seme?

i really want this uke to grow up and become a seme. that'd be hot.

Hey, me again (for once, not choking on some sort of food!) I decided on a whim to re-read the whole fic, and imagine my astonishment when I discovered that you added another chapter! Thank you so much for updtating, I'm compleatly hooked on this story. Even though it had been a long time since I read it last I could remember everything almost word for word. The latest chapter has, if anything, drawn me in more. Who are these mysterious Dysian (god I'm spelling that so worng, I'm sorry) and the interaction between Val and Kinz' is so edge-of-your-seat that I can't help but read out loud sometimes (much to the puzzlement of the poeple sharing the room) in giddy excitment. Also, Kinz' is great. in the last few chapters you've really developed him in a way that makes me really feel for him. And well. Val is shmexy. yes. Shmexy. Lets have some more! :)

Wow. There is some powerful story-weaving here. I am completely, drunkenly hooked. Val is such an eff-ing amazing character. You slip in these little hints of his backstory but never ever reveal more than a glimpse, and it's incredibly tantalizing and annoying and delicious. I don't think I've stopped once trying to figure the complex man out; all these sides to him on top of his background... The wandering mind can't resist making connections and spinning off theories.

And Kinz. Utterly unpredictable and magnetic. I can't tell you how grateful I am he's not the typical "fiery and rebellious" slave who meets a kinder master and has to fall in love and turn into putty. *wretches* In fact, that little tidbit in his vision of the future where he realizes Val becomes his slave had me dancing for glee. Tables turned, eh? Perhaps unexpected, certainly unique, and absolutely perfect. Fits in snugly with Kinz's image of love as two people trusting each other enough to sit in companionable silence (his internal monologue about his parents).

Anywho, I clamor for an update. Your -real- plot has just barely started :P and things are really starting to pick up and clarify themselves, and I am dying to see where things next turn. ...Especially with Chapter 11's cliffhanger ending.

But, much as I love this story, "Nail Polish Lust" still holds first place in my heart. The review I left you for that one really does not do justice to its amazing-ness. The characters in -that- one now I would walk through Hell to meet AKA read more about.

What is left to say? Really, wonderful wonderful job, and thank you. Happy writing!

your so good, i'd wait as long as it takes for the next chapter! Keep it up! XP

Hells, woman, WHY ISN'T THIS FINISHED? Come back and finish writing! Your addicts- er, fans demand it!

Oh wow A very powerful read. The twistedness of it really captivated me .. whehehe. I know, I'm sadistic, and proud of it! *evil cackle*

Update soon? Can't wait to know what happens when Kinz is going to be "trained" in his abilities ... is it anything like what Val went through?

very good!I like it alot and please update soon,I'm dieing with anticapation(sp).Keep it up you're on my

This is a beautiful, beautiful story. I just have to check it every week for updates. It's the best of your fiction and so much better that the other ones we find in the site...Please, don't let it sidelined...

Really interesting. Great building up of the character too! PLease continue.

It has been a year and three months, can I please urge you to continue? I LOVE your story so much, and I understand a busy life...but PLEASE hury! There are devoted fans (such as myself) out there that have been hanging on for YEARS, please finish this story! I fear I'm going to be in college before you even get another chapter out, that's sad. I was a freshman I think when I started reading this! Please, please, I beg of you to hurry!It is summer, hopefuly now you could spare the time to come up with a chapter for your "dying in anticipation" fans...Please?