Very very interesting...didn't find to many spelling and grammar mistakes.

I noticed you didn't really explain what the weather was like, not that it mattered, but it just seems to me that if someone was to kill themselves, they at least want a good look at the world before they did so, but whatever.

You did well in explaining her feelings when in her boyfriends’ arms, that part I liked. But then when you got to the part when the boyfriend broke up with her...I think that could have been done somewhat better...maybe a bit more descriptive there...and another thing. Every other paragraph seemed to start with the same thing "she remembered" I understand how hard it would have been to think about putting something else, but repetition isn't a good thing, or at least to me it isn't...

Other than that, it seemed good. The way you kept repeating "She blinked" was good because in some way it gave me the feeling of there being a pinch of suspense in it and it told to look out for clues discerning what the ending would be.

I REALLY like the way you stated that "She was glad that everything was ending soon" because it gave me the impression that she had a smile on her lips from everything suddenly being lifted off her chest and that if she went through with this, which she obviously did, she would be happy...although not a happy as she was when she was with her boyfriend.

This girl has obviously had a lot of anger in her and her reasons for jumping were made apparent, she was mad at herself, mad at the world, and now thoroughly disgusted with herself when she knew that she could do nothing about it. The reasons for jumping were very clear to the girl, and to me.

Very well done, for first fic.

very good self portrait...

yOyOyO chinG~ diz story'z so sad!!! aniwaez, well done manz! zhen shi ren bu ke lou xiang..din noe u could write so well! =P jia you jia you..looking foRwaRd to reading more of yeR storiezzZ!! hmM..nex time try to write happieR onEz?? hehEz..=D

ThiNK this shOrt story's a Great one. short, sweet, easily understood. Descriptive words do add a touch to yr story. can ** here to memorise during compo timetrial.haha:)think structure of essay is *cooly unique* but ending's a bit abrupt.can see u've covered all aspect of e gal's life. Makes me feels as if she's real.:) Keep this up man! want 2 see more gd stuff coming UP!

aHzzzzzz. =) so sad. suicide fic. =) wahahahahz. sighz...very nice lehz. =) hikaru no go rocks!!!! lend me shaman king next year... =) this year no time liaoz... plzplz? heheheheheheheh. =) great~! =) life is so cruel...but the person in the story like also quite cruel to others...hehe. =P
good night!

yoZ senIoR... uR're GoOD mAn... hAha... diDnt noE maN... looKz cAn bE deCieVing yeA? hAha

sOrry... juz testing if reviews can be posted by anoymous... i rem un-ticking the box but still got pple come and tell me tt they cant review so i'm trying out... hopefully can.

qing, nice one! u write very well what... mi envious... hee... write more k? lookin 4ward 2 more of ur fics! (",)

wada: omg man! you ar! wa lao...write until so nice. can never do thought fics nicely one. really show the character's confusion (hope you meant it tt way...ahaha. my lit sucks) and her past and then going on towards the present. like the way you do the unblinking part then the 'she blinked'. reminds me of terry pratchett's thief of time. go read. it has 'tick', just like your 'she blinked'. nice man.
miya: but ddefinitely not as nice as thief of time. definitely. the 'wind smacked right in her face' part sounds quite painful for something not catchable...very cute...the change in the 'she'. cute. very chim also. momentum of pure blissfulness (but shouldnt it be bliss?).

hey you. vocab pretty good what. i always cheated one... the msword thesaurus huh. explains my ca2 mark. damn. anyway woohoo. angst stones.[not rocks] or pebble or whatever. who's tt girl? sounds like some sweet valley char leh...the dating stuff. ugh. francine pascal sucks big time. anyway GOOD. [vocab still very limited] add oil! and i like to remain unknown mind you...