Geez, should have read this sooner! I *like* it...lots. It reads a lot like an L.M. Montgomery novel, but it's got all the awesome little twists in there...Roger himself, and how his father's a criminal (it'd be interesting to find out what for)...and I REALLY like Amy. She sounds fun. Add to that the slightly sarcastic narration...and you've got a really bloody excellent story. Great job--I can't wait for more--

~Flamewing

Well, that proved interesting...drawing, really. A good sort of plot, good style. I particularly like the way you're building up your characters, giving them strength through the story. Few small things:

Text. As far as I recall, using either bold or italics, usually italics, is standard in writing. Both stirs things up a bit too much.

PoV skipping. At a few points, you're skipping around from one person's wishes to another within two sentences, flicking back and forth, until you reach the midway point. That causes a few problems for the reader and isn't quite helpful to the story. I'd look that over.

Otherwise, you've done this well. I'd love to see the companions, etc.

Hi!
Sorry it's taken me to long to review, my computer has been down and I was just lucky enough for there to be a free one in the library.

Anyway, I like this a lot. It had me from the first line!

I liked Jerry right off, a character who realizes he comes across a bit weird but doesn't care, in fact it seems like he enjoys it! :)

Poor Roger! The kid's been kicked so often he doesn't expect anything else.
I'm with Jerry, I'd help him get at Chapman's throat!

And Amy, gotta love that little fireball! :)

Great start! I can't wait to see how this unfolds.

ttys
T.J.

(Note: For some reason I can't get logged in. Oh well.)

Hullo, Jobey -

finally got round to reading this. Thanks for the email, of course I appreciate reading new stuff from you.. especially as I've been wanting to read more chapters of those HP fics of yours for ages. But, no reproach, I just took two months to post a second chapter to one of my fics, so I really know what it's like.

*Anyway*. I find this story terribly interesting and will be sure to follow it. Very good elements: a small town where everyone knows everyone else; a small, frightened boy who's seen the worst in life at such a young age; a charitable man, living alone, respected by the other citizens yet looked upon as a bit of a weirdo... and add to that your fluent, captivating writing style and you get a very promising beginning to a story. I'll be interested to find out more about Timothy Edwards, Roger's mother, Catherine Kirk, and of course Amy.. and Roger's tasks.

One thing - the element of the small, frightened, abused boy *has* been used a few times, and sometimes it gets a bit one-dimensional. I trust you to reveal inner feelings of the boy that make me gasp. ;) Quite apart from the usual "yes, sir, I'm sorry, sir", which is necessary, but - oh you know what I mean. I hope.

Allemande

Watch editing. Teach me how to use bold and italics (please). There is a minor confusing point just after we meet Amy. Are you using real city names? I'm not exactly suer about your dialect. We are introduced to characters a little quickly, and the beginning is a tad bit overwhelming. I do like Jerry and Roger quiet a bit, and I think they will be nice to get to know better. I want to go cuddle Roger - he seems so awfully hurt. There's a lot of background that I suppose you are trying to slowly distribute that might help in the understanding of things. It's a really interesting, story, and I'm kind of impatient to figure out the rest of it. Well done, though I know I was a little picky.