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| i-see-faeries 2007-07-08 ch 1,  | abuseAw, cute. ^^ I don't know, it feels like something should happen, even at the end. Like this whole thing is leading up to something and it's all going to crumble. But I'm glad it ended happily. And after all, maybe something happening is the new cliche. And it made me laugh, what Alex said about cliches being cliche and that being messed up. I agree. One criticism though, the way you wrote it made it hard to determine things. I guess it's because you put thoughts from both guys in the same paragraph, and that causes some confusion as to who's thinking now. But other than that, I love it. It's cute and sweet. Great job. |
| K. T. Wood 2005-06-30 ch 1, | abuseAww. That was really sweet. Kind of sad though. But I liked it. |
| ddz008 2004-05-18 ch 1, | abuseIt was sweet! Nice one-shot! :D :D :D |
| Lami 2003-05-06 ch 1, | abuse*cries* that's it!! *cries some more* not reading anything else of yours for at least...5 whole minutes!! oh, projectile mucus! joy.lol |
| Sojourner Blue 2003-02-07 ch 1, anon. | abuseI really like this. The characters are good. There is some really nice imagery; the light sharpening his curves, for example. But you are telling a little too much. Show vs. Tell. I love "it's the *hair*" that's a perfect line. Write more. |
| Krillin 2003-01-28 ch 1, anon. | abuseWOW! That was beautiful. I have never read a story so good. You are most definatly a natural writer. Please write more, just like it. It was short, sweet and to the point. It did not drag on for 12 chapters. Please keep up the great work. Do not stop if others tell you to. |
| Allie 2003-01-18 ch 1, anon. | abuseI love this so, so, so, so much. The writing is gorgeous, and the characters...*meeble*. You've done a truly fabulous job with this! - Allie |
| Opal Soul 2002-11-16 ch 1, | abuseI don't normally read or like slash, but I'm really glad I gave this one a chance. The title caught my eye [by the way, it's really poetic-sounding], and I started reading, and the first sentence was amazing, so I kept ON reading. There are so many great lines in this, and this is a really, really good short story. |
| Cuppie 2002-11-15 ch 1, | abuseOMG... that is adorable. And well written, extremely well-written. The emotions were expertly conveyed and the characters were real and developed. This is so sweet, I loved it! :) |