Wow this is really good.

It was a bit confusing there for a moment but I think I got it. Really good

I...have nothing to say that would do any justice to this tale. Wow. Just...wow. Talk about one wild ride.

Apart from the few grammatical and mechanical mishaps, I didn't see nay problems. I mean, in a few places you used 'him' instead of 'them', but I'm guessing that was a result of a spellchecker. I know from experience what a pain those can be.

I finally finished reading, three months after first coming across this...masterpiece. And I have to say that I am absolutely thrilled with it, with all of it- the plot, the characters, the ending. Wow. Just, wow. Eventually I'll find some free time (time not spent in stolen moments of Drama) to read your other works. If this is any example, I can comfortably guess that they'll blow me away as well.

Happy writing, live safe and be strong.

-Arej

Wow. Really, wow. Knowing what I know, that Chapter Seven is the Epilogue, I am really hooked, especially on the edge of my seat. It has me shaking. Unfortunately I cannot finish...I have class...but I will return, if only to get to Chapter Five. Be Blessed.

Arej

Wow. After reading just the first chapter, that is all I can say. Wow. This is really going somewhere...and I want to thank you for your reviews. In my few years of writing, I never revieved as much help as I have from the kind if strange (and I say that in the best of ways...I am perhaps stranger than many here) people of FictionPress. One thing, however- the format of the writing seems a little weird. It is almost as if the site will not display the lines as regular lines. Every other line (excepting the dialogue) is extremely short and only a fragment of the sentece before or after.

Now. I will try to continue reading as soon as possible, but being a quiet student will not help if I fail to pay attention. So, hopefully, I will be able to return soon.

By the way, in case I did not show it truly before, I am completely and utterly hooked by this story.

Love your ending. Nice and calm now, relaxing, as it's meant to be. Good contrast to the previous chapter. Most of all, it has that feeling of completedness, vital to make the story the awesome story it is. I look forward to reading more of your work. Fantastic writing here; please continue in whatever other stories you plan to write.

Another awesome chapter!! It's very life-like; I can feel everything happening. Good imagery and description. You create great suspense and fear in the reader.

One thing I want to point out, that I just noticed, is that this story is rated G, which I assume you overlooked. I definitely recommend that you increase the rating to PG or PG13. Again, I'm hypothesizing that this is a small mistake that you simply overlooked at the time you created the story.

There were a few minor grammar errors, like in some places you used lead when I think you meant led. But as I said, they were all minor.

I love your story! The characters are so real. And I think I was wrong when I said earlier that your writing was like Frank Herbert's. Certainly, your writing is advanced and worthy, but I also see that you have your own, unique style.

Keep writing. I loved the action in this one, full of everything that wouldn't let me put it down. Alain and Syona are awesome characters. As always, good use of language and great suspense. The chapter ending was just great, too. I look forward to reading more of your writing. -Dathomiran

Aahh! Why does she have a gun? I have a very bad feeling about where this is going. Excellent suspense, though. Very well-written. My reviews do not do your story justice. Great use of language. This chapter was especially good, I think. I don't know how to describe it, but the story was very effective. You're making me really nervous about what's going to happen next. Awesome story!

What a cliffhanger for a chapter ending! I can't wait to see what happens! This has been REALLY cool so far. Everything is so real! I look forward to reading more. You certainly have a good story here, I'll try to recommend it to some of my sci fi friends. It's so AWESOME! I think I use the word awesome too much, but I still love your story. It's like, magical in the way you tell it. The characters are so real. Everything is real! And, out of curiosity, where and when does the story take place? Just wondering. I really like this story so far, and I'll read more as soon as I can spare a little more time. Awesome so far!! (I used that word again! Oh well.)

WOW! You never cease to amaze me!
By the way, exert is spelt excerpt. And is your paragraph spacing intentional? Sometimes you have paragraph breaks in between sentences. I presume it is for the poetic effect on the reader, though. Well, I was just wondering. Other than that, I don't have any criticism. Your story is so awesome! I love it!
Ever consider sending this to a science fiction magazine. I have to say I have been thoroughly impressed with your writing. Nice chapter ending. I like the irony. Great descriptions, sensory language. Always very well-written. It has a professional touch worthy of science fiction. I'll continue to read. :) Fantastic so far!

If I didn't know better, I would think Frank Herbert came back from the dead and wrote this! It reminds me of Dune in many ways. Great science fiction and descriptions. I can tell that you have a lot of experience in writing. I look forward to reading more!

Totally awesome! So far, I find that your story has been professionally written with great description. Excellent description. You clearly put a lot of thought into this. I will read more soon.

Hey, man. Two things of this and last chapter really made think of other things! Witht he girl coming out of the window, it was kinda like The Ring and the name of this chapter, Perchance to Dream, it is one of the songs on the Halo Soundtrack!

Anyways, I like the way it ended, well, the way the Epilogue ended with the toast with Syona and Alain, it was wel written. You have to write another action/horror story again sometime, you're great at it, you know.

-Bakedo.

Hey, you finally did it! The ending of this story was great, man, you did it very well. A few grammar mistakes were here and there, but then again, look at MY stories! Mistakes everywhere...

I wanna read the Epilogue now, but I have HW to do. Once I'm done with that I'll be sitting in front of the computer again and reading that epilogue!

-Bakedo.

PS- Please R&R Escape 3! IT's almost done with only 3 chapters to go and 63k words!

this story was very good. i really like how you put the excert for the book about dreams before each chapter that had something to do with it. i would really like it if you read some of my stuff and know what you think.

Thought story was spectacular! I loved it! I was wondering if you can review my Earth is under attack story. Thanks!

Bye