Wow...that's really good...that's how I feel just about 24/7/365

WOW! I wish i knew how to write like that because that was a really good poem and i dont really like rhyhming(correct?)poems but I think you changed my mind NEwayz i really needed that poem;)
THANX

What a metaphor (or an allusion? ...My mind is fried, it always is, ignore my ignorance). Wonderful work, you can completely envision it, and its extremely relatable as well.

I decided to read some of your poems, and as an Emo boy and fellow poet, I would have to rate this piece of work as. . .very good. High praise from one such as me. Lol. later

Or elfs@lj.

I'm gonna sound like an English teacher, but that's okay. I've been one.

It's a good poem. It rhymes, which makes it a thousand times better than all the crud out there that thinks it's poetry when really it's just poorly formatted prose. It's in the "Angst" category but, hey, you're 14, you're supposed to be angsty.

You might want to try re-writing to get the syllable count in line. Right now it's 7/9/7/7/9/10/etc, which is really no discernable meter at all, and it's got a lot of potential as a poem. The "ashes" theme does not appear in the first and fifth couplet (out of six): you should consider extending it so that there's a smoke/fire/ashes theme running solidly throughout the poem.

Above all else, read it aloud! If you want it have impact, it must skip, or chug, or grind, or fly consistently, changing only because some moment in the poem makes that change a conscious choice of the poet.

But do keep writing. Poetry is so much harder than people think it is, and you're doing so much better than 99% of the folks out there.

It's soooo sad! It's how I healt when I was small and my parents where fighting. Now, they still fight and it bothers me. You could say I'm mentally depressed. Still, it does not stop me from writing stories. I wish you could read and review me stories, maybe give me some tips and such. Really sad poem.

awww...i'm sorry that u cried urself to sleep... it's a very sad poem... *sniffles*
=Y.Y=

Very Powerful poem, full of emotions. It's very well written.

That's a very good poem, I like the imagery you used. Of course, you realize it's not true, you'll leave something behind, everyone does. The things you leave behind will be different for each person. Me, I'll remember you as the nice, funny girl who wrote hilarious fanfiction and deep poems from the heart. I don't think I'll be able to forget you.
One more thing (Jeez, I'm like Uncle from Jackie Chan adventures): My mom says drinking a cup of hot milk will help you get to sleep. I think it's gross, I have NO idea if it will work, or if it means anything to ya, but I figured I'd say it anyways. Try to wear a smile, it's only 18 muscles compared to the 32 you need for a frown. Take care and talk to ya later,
Renee the Rabid Squirrel.

Wow...That is beautiful, and very...well, there's no real way to describe such a wonderful poem ^.^ Keep up the good work!

Interesting poem. I like it.

Sadly beautiful. The end really got me. I like it a lot, very well written.