Finally, a really good story. I'm sick of all the sad excuses for stories that my "colleagues" write over here on the western hemisphere. If all the kids write so damn good over there, I'm moving to England right away.

I like the idea that you have going here, but your consturction needs a bit of work.

Try to elliminate some of the use of the word "was" in this story, the use of more action verbs will really spice it up a bit. Also, watch the adverbs in this. An adverb sprinkled in here or there is nice, but if you have too many they become like leeches, sucking the life out of your writing.

Also try to make your sentances a bit longer, by combining related ones and getting rid of unecesary words. The first paragraph of this story is a good example, the potential is certainly there, and if you worked on it, you could really pull some good stuff out of it.

This story is more than definately a diamond in the rough, the things it needs are a good editing job and more details. Flesh the story out a bit, add more details, and perhas throw in some more chpters.

Good work, and keep on writing!

Sweet.you must get a sequel or something out soon! We must know what happens!

You know, you're really annoying me now with these evil chapters...remind me to bug to update till you do...urgh, I am so unprepared, I have to write a chapter for two seperate stories by the weekend...see you whne you update!

John has a life!? Finally! I still think John sounds better than Danny though ^^ anyway glad to see you updated.

Yes! John is finally getting some guts! Whoohoo! Can't say much for Anna since I like John more than her but hey! ANyway you should draw your characters you know.

Urgh, will you stop tying such cliffhangers and get the story going already? I wanna find out what happens..and John seems adorable! *glomps*

Doesn't matter cos I'm a disturbed person too! It's all in good fun for us! I meant to ask you a question, do you have random characters running around your head too? or is it just me? Anyway update soon 'k? 'k? And Anna is one hell of a lady ^^, though John could use some work, we need a cool english hero, who's utterly adorable when he's not fighting!...okay I'm just redescribing Joh now -.-'

Nice story, I like Anna though, she's cool. John Smith? I love the name ^^ mwahaha! Anyways I will fly to the distance now, I have my own uploading to do.

Hay that's good, keep it up

WOW!! ^^ a great beginning, and the story flows very well I like it!! plz continue quickly!!