The rhyming is off a bit on this one...

In the first stanza you should end witha line that rhymes with keep (you need an actual extra line there). Then everything will work out fine.

Other than that... I love the visual image of 'stars shine bright in the deep.' It vaguely reminds me of a starry night sky MIXED with the ocean (so a starry night wave... hm... I dunno, it sounds so pretty!). I like the conclusion as well... 'No longer a wish to weep,' so things go well for once.

Always,KMJ

again, loved it muchly! you have such an amazing talent for creating the science fiction atmosphere, not blurred with fantasy in the least (which i find to be very rare indeed ~ in fact, you may be the only person in possession of such an amazing talent to my knowledge!). you also do an incredible job making the reader feel like everything's in suspension ~ 'tis really like being in outer space. awesome tone. loved the lines "eyes burn with a light/and a wish to weep," and "a seer's life in a lost land" (i actually stopped and pondered the latter one :P). another great piece! kudos!

Oh, that's pretty!

i enjoyed your poetry alot...reminded me of lord of the rings, but i like that too. good rhyming, my poetry really doesnt rhyme very often, good scheme as well and stuff..it wins my thumbs up and i hope you post lots more!

Wow--this is very good! Your poem has a great rhyme scheme and a steady rhythm, as well as some fitting imagery. I wish I could write poetry like this! Please post more of your poems here.

I don't know why, but this reminds me of LOTR.
-_-; don't ask me why. I'm weird like that. lol. Um, this poem seems to be very braud, but I think I get what your trying to express in the poem. I like the rhyme scheme you have in it, also. It's a bit different then what I normall see, and seems to be a bit unique. It's refreshing to me. Keep up the good work!