wada: your commmonwealth essay! all of us posted our commonwealth essays up or what? oh, just remembered tt i didnt. anyway, dX did. anyway, it's nice, the way you show the different povs and explain the situ step by step. nice, although could have elaborated more to show more emotions and personality.
miya: waaa, touching story. eh, got some typo or something. and grammar i think. cant remember. eh...nice lar...very touching. although quite drama hor? nvm mine even worse than yours, near all compos last year are les. ahaha.
wada: a bit too sudden though, was wondering where was the 'tts not fair' while i was reading it.

why doncha call the mother eve? then adam and eve. haha.
same intro as my commonwealth. haha. main char bicker with ma...
and one comment: think for each section [mother, son] cna write in 1st person? then can include more emotions. then can picture it more. hmm. used to do 3rd person, then now most in 1st person [courtesy to sbj =) wonderful english she has...] noticed? haha. i mean the originals lah.
yup, adding to tt comment: smone told me abt showing and telling in stories. think there's more tell than show here. eh... my comment. cos whenever i review this stupid grey box below says a well-rounded critique blah blah ways to improve it blah blah. yup. influenced.
lily! lily potter. ahem.
oh wow. dead lily. urgh. quite sad... these family matters things... haha. at least you kept to the word limit. if there's one thing i hate in this world, it's word limits. XD

ur commonwealth essaY!!~ kool. i'll put mine up..but it didn't reach the word count thing...im so going to get killed.