'tis sublte, really like the last line:

'but i defy' powerful

VERY broad. very subtle, very vague

i like it. i can translate it to anything i like. i think this one's good. not too mushy, not too gothic, just broad. good job!

I think it's pretty good the way it is. There is really no need to add to it(just in case you're still planning to add more.)