|Reviews for Coffee Shop|
| Phoenix-Pen 7/19/04 . chapter 1
I like the feel of this.
Ok, now for the horrible "well rounded critique":
I think it would be better if you used "correct" grammar. I normally avoid saying that, because in poetry I do think we should have a certain freedom with language, but this poem seems quite sweet and traditional, and the language needs to mirror that (in my opinion). Also the third verse came as a bit of a dissapointment-the first two were sophisticated and touching, the third sounds almost like a parody: if you can't fit the right words into the rhyme scheme, maybe you should consider changing the rhyme!
So, a good poem, a good idea. Sorry for the criticisms: I hope they're helpful rather than annoying!