hmm..very nice, it seems to be quite flowing, the rhythm, but not all the ideas do, like "When can I stay awake?/It's a world full of hate."
It's in story format, so you might want to re-upload it...

Cool and semi-gothy. Sa-weet!

Lolz, interesting. It's like one of those gothic poems that go into those weird little books, but I forgot what they're called. e.e;