| Reviews for Suburban Midnight |
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The Merblemikey 2/8/03 . chapter 4 :merblesmeefs and generally has a fit: MORE DAMNIT! GOD! you two write way too damn slow. Come on, there's two of you now. DOUBLETIME, Ho's! :mewls and nuzzles the both of you: loved it. Need more soon. Have gun. Will travel. thankies. |
Chibbi 2/8/03 . chapter 4CHAPTER 5 MUST POST CHAPTER 5! Tis a brillig story darling, very well written and very fluffy! good job. |
DeletedAcct 2/8/03 . chapter 4Yay! It's really cute, cool, funny and funky. i like it, and i hope you continue soon! Also ... MATTHEW GOOD! [nudges with elbow] just couldn't resist ... and also, you and hope work well together, i hope you come up with more soon, quickly, and now! |
DeletedAcct 2/8/03 . chapter 3[giggles] freaky, funny, perry and Jake are just tooo cute together ... but need more action with Nate and Kieran! Quickly now! hurry! |
DeletedAcct 2/8/03 . chapter 2Mmmm... Cooooool! I like it so far! Even if the name Perry reminds me of Kev and Perry... [shifty eyes, then shrugs] ah, whatcha gonna do? To The Next Chapter! |
DeletedAcct 2/8/03 . chapter 1[grins happily] Oooh, i like the looks of this one! To the next chapter! |
the bowmans daughter 2/3/03 . chapter 3 I WANT MORE MORE MORE I SAY! Tis bloody brillaint i say, more more, ooo hunky man on tv, byeeeeeeeee |
Souf-up 1/31/03 . chapter 1Yes, despite your growing fanbase of twelve year olds. You need a little advice. Howabout writing something that hasn't been written ten thousand times over? It's called cliche, don't do it. Now I understand being at your junior high level you'll get a little peeved because someone's telling you the truth. Well here it is: In the first paragraph you make mistakes, big no no. "He shoved everything he could into a garbage bag, finding an extra suitcase and emptying his clothes into it, opening his bedroom door. " Doesn't make sense... "He had almost made it to the door when he heard it." Too many "it's" in the sentence. "Where the fuck do you think you're going, Princess?" Nathaniel's father slurred, grabbing his arm and yanking him back. Nathaniel cried out in pain, feeling his arm bend against the joint." Give a reason, a buildup to why this happened. If you were ever in an abusive relationship, you'd know that they just don't beat you for no reason. It builds up. Is his father drunk? Drunk people either, stay asleep, become aggressive by certain things or get happy. What is his father upset by? You go from a climax, a cliche climax to this math class. Makes no sense, you're introducing random characters. It's like dawson's creek. You're like what the hell...and then too boot your characters ae squely cliche girls with no personality besides that of being ditzy. Then you go on to describe the band members. Boring, I don't give, or anyone for that matter, gives a hoot what they look like. Are you shallow? It certainly comes off as being like that when all you do is descrive thing comepltly pointless to the story. It's a STORY. It's supposed to center on character development and plot, not cliche magazine like descriptions of guys. |
Chibbi 1/31/03 . chapter 3OOOOOOOOOOO a chapter 4 is sounding pretty good at the moment! |
crazee-diamond 1/31/03 . chapter 3oooh ravaging... mmm... haha oh how I love'boyband' slash... this is the first one I've read that didn't have to do with o-town. good for me. lol... ashley angel and jacob underwood... mmm mmm good. i somehow see nate as ashley and jake as jacob... that makes you special or something, making it easy for me and all... update soon... |
The Merblemikey 1/30/03 . chapter 1 :hugs the both of you: Loved it. And i better get another chapter soon...or you're dead...soooo dead. You two work well together:) |
Hopiebunny 1/30/03 . chapter 1 Grr. Evil review thing. This is my third attempt at reviewing. Anyway, I love this pairing... they're so cute together. . Almost as cute as Matt and Sean. (Sean made me say that |