This is a good story--very professionally written. There's a lot of potential for suspense, interesting plot, etc. I like it!
One thing, though: the characters aren't very well defined. Maybe that's because there are only two chapters so far. What do they look like? Why is Melissa jealous of Ellona?
Keep it coming!

I just do not know what to think about this just yet though I like to find out.

hey pretty good job so far. your writing is very entertaining and well thought out. I just dont understand why other ppl have found this article yet. i hope you continue writing here. i'll be waiting for the next chapter. if you have any time, check out my stuff. My sci-fi, 3065 a.d. is coming along ok. best of luck to your story!