FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Brett 2003-02-24 ch 3,   | I have to say that you are really setting Artie up for the fall here.good foreshadowing. You have a clear focus in this story it seems, and i am wondering how you are going to approach the remaining four episodes. Good stuff! |
| Brett 2003-02-17 ch 2, | Once again, i am impressed with your patience in fleshing out Artie and making him more than just words on a page. Very nice. I especially liked it in the middle parahraph, when Artie says that he doesn't want others to know of his like for Arya because he doesn't want "added pressure", and then logic comes in and, well, there's a company policy against inter-office dating! I thought that was funny.boyz. |
| Brett 2003-02-13 ch 1, | I like the first chapter, and i am looking forward to reviewing the others. You have really planned out this entire saga, which is evident as you begin to unfold characters and their traits, which will show up in murderous horror in Episode 6. So far, it amazes me that Episodes 1 and 6 are even related, since the first so far is very happy and the sixth is so bloody and evil!! It's touching and i can't wait to continue! |
| communist daughter 2003-02-13 ch 3, | nice. sort of a like a 'sequel but really a prequel' type thing. you're getting the length of the chapters down well; and your characters are highly developed. excellent job; i'd encourage you to continue writing. |
| Kerrin 2003-02-13 ch 1, | Adam, What a cute little story. I especially like the fact he studied History of Furniture and appreciates the wonderfulness of a Chocolate Brownie Mocha! |