This is an interesting story. I enjoyed this chapter, though there were some minor spelling and punctuation errors. Also, the characters don't really have visible personalities, and you should probably develop them more as the story progresses. Nevertheless, I look forward to the next update.

Hm. Ok fine I'm glad I clicked your damn link lol. Not bad at all. ^^

Wow, That was amazing I really will prolly read more of your works hun