This is very lyrical. And the use of 'till and other almost anachronistic expressions and poetry styles make for a wonderful little poem. The spacing here is nice both astheticly and for the flow and lyricism.
My advice: you managed to steer mostly clear of it here but when rhyming, keep away from "self-concious" rhymes, or rhymes that are rhymed just because. If you can pull it off, and for the most part here you have, it sounds and feels great. I, on the other hand, just foget about rhymes in general.

-kirney

Oh wow! That one's good too. Your poetry is so much better than mine!
Cool.
*Katie*