Ep! Strange men in her bedroom trying to kiss her...I'd run if I were you, Farrell. Run for the hills. And don't look back.

I like the name Quinn. Harlequin sounds kinda girly. Mind you, I thought Farrell sounded like a guy's name. So what the hell do I know?

Yeah - no glaring grammatical errors either, that I could spot. Doin' good!

Harlequin's good..he's so frikkin creepy!

this is very promising stuff... i don't think it's shallow, you're just showing that Farrell seems to be a normal teenager, when she's not. good way to build up suspense, too. i don't think the switching POV's is confusing..maybe cuz i do that myself...

WAHEY!
And the grammar wasn't too bad, either! I'm impressed!

That was a mild cliffy, but I still don't appreciate it. Update, please. I like it, so please update.

I didn't think that was all that fluffy, to be honest. It's just that the story's not moving very fast, but i'm sure it'll get going soon *nudge nudge etc.*

Pretty good. Keep writing.

*sniffle* You can't hate Dark Angel!
Never mind. The idea is similar, yeah - great minds think alike? - but the plot is different enough so far that it's obviously not a rip-off. Good stuff - keep going!

This is starting out to be a little like "Dark Angel". Hopefully it will start to differentiate itself as time moves on. Some spelling mistakes, but not horrendous. You might want to rethink the "cruel head of the orphanage" character. In this day and age there are ways to deal with such a person, all legal and devastating at the same time. You already know how I feel about switching POVs in the middle of a chapter. OK plotting so far.

Dear Mah:

Wonderful job so far. Sounds a little like Dark Angel, but with some twists. Keep up the good work and I look forward to more chapters.

evergreen