This was good, too-thanks for letting me know about it. I'll read some of your other stuff, it looks good, too!

Hey, if you've got a minute, maybe you could check out my story, The Six Days

This is a very good saga.
I liked the idea of a supper wolf.
Some of it sounded a bit text book to me.When the doctor was writing in his diary and such,but that was good in a lot of ways though.I think that was becaouse you got to learn about your ideas about wear wolfs and all.

I don't have time to continue right now, but I WILL be back. You are a truly talented writer...;)

Very good Ryan, I definately commend you on the process of the story and I'm quite enjoying the plotline. I hope it goes as well as you've planned it so far. Keep up the good work *cough* killer.

Good stuff so far. Hope the rest is as good or better.

Whats the whole story, Lilith is an intresting character and you don't tell her story. It would also help if you told the reader more about whos these character are, like how old are they, how long have they became friends, how long have Eve and Trever been going out. Another thing would be to have a main character, the way you write it you make it seem like your just stating facts not really telling the story, it would help the reader to conect with a character. Like Eve or Trever, and if you wrote it like that you could explain why they do the things they do.-These are just sugjestions, you don't have to listen to me, I just really think your story could be really good, if you changed the format of it.

Again I think the idea for this story is good but the way you wrote it made no sense. You never tell the reader why Trever gets os upset at Derek, and throws a baseball at him. Then he it sounds like he goes into the next room and its a bar, then next paragraph its Eve at the carnival. It's vary cunfusing to the reader. But I do think that if you read over it and revise a few things that the story would be worth of publication.

The story is really good, very origonal and I can get a mental picture of whats going on in my head. The only things that I would suggjest to be changed is the way that you wrote the begining, you didn't metion who the girl on the computer was, and it would be better to introduce her as Eve, and then when she gets in the car tell the reader who the other people in the car are, Trevor, Derek, and derek's girlfreind, that way the reader knows. Another thing is your punctuation, when a new character says something its always a new paragraph.
Example-
"Is little Trevor scared of the Boogie OOgie Man?" Derek prattled. Trevor just looked at him with an evil eye and snarled. There was just something about Trevor's evil eye that would just shut you up.

They split in groups, Trevor with Eve and Derek with his girlfriend. Eve looked at the full moon glare it's light on them. "Wow," said Eve, "It's so beautiful."

Trevor looked at her and said, "It is, but not as beautiful as what I'm looking at."

"You're such a dork." said Eve

You have alot of information here, especialy in the paragraph where it talks about the alpha/beta werewolves. I think it would be easier if you explained the Alpha werewolves and beta werewolves in seperate paragraphs, explaining the different charicteristics for each in either the alpha or beta paragraph. That would make more sense then clumping it all together in one paragraph-does that make sense? The story looks intresting though, I will read more.

i really like your story. i got a soft for good werewolves. i have a few complaints about they plot like trevor getting control of his powers was a little to easy but hey that's just because my werewolf hero worked extermly long and hard to control his powers. please continue it's a great story

I enjoyed this story. I hope that you write more and continue the good work.