That was awesome! You wrote it very well.

The title is well used, and the poem only got better from there. The ryhming really didn't sound forced at all, and it flowed well. The poem hit home with me, and so you've done a great job! Keep it up!
P.S - (I will get to your stories! I promise!)

Hello there! You were so kind to instant message me, that I felt I should come and read some of your stuff. Especially since you like mine so much. This poem is so great and so true! I totally agree with it and everything. You know, we really have a lot in common. *shrugs. That's cool Good job. Brokenice (ya know her) recommended your story to me, so I think I'm gonna check that out lata. Ta-ta for now!

i really love this poem. really, really love it. you just made my favorite authors list. wonderful!

Most of the first stanza I could genuinely relate to... Being an achiever, the struggle, the pressure, falling... This was really a great poem in that it spoke of hurt, but hope, joy and release as well.

vonderful. ^slurps blood^
its nice how you can put all these things in perspective, the pressures put on the narrator, the expectations...
good on ya, m8..^_^

Beautiful.
Touching.
and true.

>The pressure it grants
>To do better than before
>Is a burden I can handle
>I can bear no more

should that be "is a burden I CAN'T handle?"
:/ It makes more sense that way

amazing. thats what this is. i can totally relate. amazing.

wow, this is beautiful. i'm speachless

Wow!! You know I love everything you write. Keep up the good work!
-Luv-
Amber

This is beautiful. You did a wonderful job conveying Christ's message. Lay down your burdens before his throne (I love how you used the word crown. We're kings of our own little world, but we need to make God our King). Wonderful job.

Wow, this is beautiful!! I agree entirely with everything you said...a chapel at my school was centered once about laying our "crowns" at Jesus's feet. I absolutely LOVE it!
I'm sending this to my best friend.

God cares not for good works, except where done to bring glory to him. Well done on communicating the truth.

Ah, this is a very well written poem, i think we can all relate to this...y'know pressure takes it's toll! You worded the emotions beautifully, i know i couldn't have done any better, that's for sure.

I liked the ending. It was dark, and depressing and woeful and then there was the light at the end of the tunnel. God! hehe. Kudos, i really liked this. Thanks for sharing!

Awesome work!


~Heart of the Sword