man this was excellent, you must be a great fan of magic to get all these ideas, the next one will be great i just know it

Not much really happened in this chapter, but I'm curious as to why he's called Pheonix Shadow so I'll keep reading.

I really like this plot, it's getting better and better. I'm looking foreward to reading more of you stuff.

I liked this chapter, very mysterious, however you might want to go over it and add things like commas, just to make it easier to read. Other then that, it was wonderful.

i wanna read more, it's really good, but i gotta go... you can expect me ta read more for

o, cool... i like this so farSilver

DAMN GOOD STORY, u might want to watch out for a few incorrect words and spelling tho, please R&R mine too please

the only thing i noticed that you are doing wrong is that when you dont know how to spell a word you do it how it sounds, which has caused for a few mistakes
"fort knocks" is actually "fort knox"
"served" (when her finger comes off) should be "severed" and
"erg" should be "urge" other then that its good.

ok, its a good start, very nice idea and you have developed a plot well and quickly but with details...this is good. you already know of the grammatical errors i believe so i won't point those out to you again; one thing i did notice was this:
"They are all in sink" sink is the wrong spelling for that meaning, the watches are syncronised so the spelling would be "sync" just trying to help. i like your writing style.

Hmm...

That's kinda interesting, and is really well written. I'll keep reading, and see if I stay enthralled...

Heh.

Until later,

_Ahrar

not bad...but deal with cleaning up that grammer of urs. bad grammer can destroy a story if it is persistant, so be careful with that. However, this is a good story...I can't wait to read the sequel. If u have time, check out mine.

Hey!Keep update soon, Plz read my storys.

Hm...

Star Wars, eh?

Anyway, still suspenseful, and still need to watch that grammar!

*MUST READ MORE!*

Cool chapters..

I like the suspense in this story, however you could revise and edit a litle more carefully, I spotted a few grammatical errors myself...

Anyhow, I really love your story!

Although the story was great, the grammar was that of a fourth grader. Please try to straighten your tenses (to, too) and all the other oxymorons. It made me insane trying to read it. The punctuation was also random, especially the commas. Apostrophes don't need to happen on all the its (it's), but do need to happen on don'ts and can'ts, etc.