I love of how you improved so much XD!
Rambling is good as long as it's consistent, right?
I love your adjectives usage. Maybe you're hungry here too? Anyway, I'm curious to know what this is about! Continue on :)

Oi, Midorichi! *waves* Was curious and decided to read some stuff of yours.

But hey, not bad! Your choice of words is pretty good! Except that there's some redundancies here and there, such as:

"The water rippled as each petal touched the water."

Since you already used the word 'water' earlier in the sentence, it's okay to rewrite the sentence as:

"The water rippled as each petal touched it."

or

"The water rippled as each petal touched its surface."

because if you use 'water' twice, and not exactly for emphasis, then it seems redundant.

The plot seems pretty good! ^_^;

The way the story connects is pretty good, though I can't imagine a five-year-old running around the streets and stuff. I mean, *my* brother's five, and I'm sure that at least *I* would go running after him if *he* ran out into the street. So... kind of think of that. ^^;

I do hope you continue. ^_^;;

~Wusai

ORGINAL?! What the hell is that? (oops...::does the holy cross::...Lent) Anyways, just a few...oh who am I kidding...several commas and spelling errors but overall the plot's very good. While I was reading it, I couldn't help but picture Kingdom Hearts, but like you said, Billy, it's no where near as cheesy as Kingdom Hearts. Are they in Vermont or in Japan? haha (inside joke...) While I was reading your story tho, I was getting very hungry...strawberry blonde, chocolate brown...m! ::rubs tummy:: Okay...can't wait to read more. Really really! It's so good. You should definitely enter it into Mindframes as a short story. Good luck! ^_~

o0o0o0o...this is such a good story! I'm jealous of your mad skills! Haha.

Okay...really, I think your story is good. Is there more to it? Because I really want to read more, if there is more...Stop asking "seriously?"

You have a couple of grammar problems though...=( [I'm acting like Tam...uh oh!]

The chick [girlie] in your story seems so cute! Kind of weird that they're promising to get married. Hm...I didn't really understand why these little kids were hanging out alone. Things seem really sudden in it, too...like the mother dying...seemed like it was out of no where. [Yes, I know it is "true" Katherine.] Well, that's all, I think...

It's still a rEaLLy good story! =P

Very very good. I like it. It's really interesting. Although it was too long so I couldn't finish it completely. haha Keep writing.