Wow. That was very deep and very sad. You really showed her pain and her suffering well. Good Job!

Captured the mood, as well as her feelings. Really appeals to the spirit. Great story!

pretty good, but it could have been a little longer. whenever i write one-chappies i always have them about twenty pages on word.

*bang!*

she was dead! -_-

::burst un laughter::

hehe

ur so insensitive on2!

-ur very good friend ::clears throat::
euno (hehe)

omg...RAPE!! OMG!! living wit a drunk guy??! OMG!! lol...sorry, I'll stop now.
SO KEWL!
-liquidgold

As you know, Im your biggest fan! I dont really know that though, I already read this story as you know, well I like it of coarse, *Sniff* *sniff* OK by!

One of the better suicide pieces I've read. Congrats. It's very thoughtful. I love the part at the end where she just thinks "Why?". It's definetly the most powerful part of the story. It's short, but any longer and it would lose it's effectiveness. Good job!

Short and sad. Some good basic writing here. Couple suggestions:

1. Get rid of the clunky "Flashback/End Flashback" structure. Instead, mark your flashbacks by using italics only. Then get rid of the italics for the stuff going through her mind. That might sound like a big leap, because you've probably been taught to use italics for inside-the-mind stuff. But do it. Considering the whole story is her thoughts and feelings, you won't lose anybody.

2. Give the girl an age. I'm thinking teens, but you never come right out and say it.

Great first fic.