Jesus freaking Christ, Lannie. That was incredible.
I need to go away and think about this and then come back and review properly. :S
Beautiful.
- Sirayn

Yes, I did enjoy it :) Immensely! I think it can be improved, with editing (is your beta-reader still working away at it?) and mostly a bit of polishing up, but you have a really great beginning here. Congratulations :)
I assume this is your biggest original work to date! I hope to see you write more in future, maybe for this year's NaNo *g*
Just a note about the quotes from songs throughout the story - maybe you could make a note in each chapter of which songs were used (e.g. in footnotes or something) or maybe a list of them at the end, and references for them - I wanted to check some of them out myself and other readers may want to do the same - plus the whole copyright thing *lol*
Anyway, I think that's it for now! Let me just reiterate that I have really enjoyed reading this story. You've done a great job!

"One time he even had to restrain her and [talk] her out of jumping off a bridge."
"He was not [as] able a telepath as Manille..."
"She pulled a chair over and gestured [for] him to sit down."
"...and that [they’d have/they would have] wine and talk about everything..."
WOW. I am finished! *gasps for air* :P But seriously...that was a gripping ride! (tbc)

"...and offered a wonderful view [of] the city below."
"...where cars were driving to and [from] the places [they] had to be." I took out 'where'; also, if it were to be 'to and fro' it could just be left at that. As it is it should be 'from'.
"Manille had been fighting [depression] on and off in the past months; up until the point where Evan insisted [she] write it all out. Especially with the baby [coming], she..."
*LOL* I love the description of Manille as a sea cow :P
"In the end he had just told her that he’d contact her again when he [felt] [like it/ready] - for now she..."
"...and back onto the ever-continuing carrousel of [life]." (removed the word 'again')
Just take a look at that paragraph by the way - lots of 'again's in there :)
"Maybe it was because [of] his tanned skin."
"Especially the compositions came more [naturally] to him now."
"...she saw herself [with] a dazed, happy smile on her face." (took out a word)
I like this sentence: "Only four days of his presence after four years of silence, and she was already addicted to his presence again." But I think you could maybe replace one of the 'presence's with something? It's just a bit repetitive. I do like the meaning of the sentence though.
"And, fortunately, he [did/had done] the same with her."
"He wrapped his arms around [her]." (I assume that's what you meant, from the other sentences)
"'How’s the writing going?' he [inquired]."
"...he had not grown up with an intuitive telepath as she [had]."
"Or he was faking [sleep/being asleep]."
"...Manille finally worked up the [gall] to ask him about it."
"'Manille, shh, don’t [make] any hasty conclusions...'”
"...but they had insisted that [he] take the Friday exam."
"She felt nineteen again, and [once more] totally devastated over the loss of her best friend." (That's just a suggestion I made to get rid of the second 'again' *s*)
*lol* Oh what a way to end the chapter. I'm nearly there *slogs on* Seriously though - I love how you gave us this flashback from Evan's point of view, because that is a point of view we didn't really see during the story - nor anyone's but Manille's. Which is why it was really good to have this flashback and also Lyce's diary entries. Anyway...just one last suggestion, and it's to do with dialogue. Sometimes you have your characters (who are kinda teenagers/young adults, so not completely formal) sounding a bit too formal, mostly in spots like this:
“I’m sorry we *did not* call you immediately,” Willen said, instead.
“She had a similar conversation with me too, but I *did not* think anything of it.” I would've put 'didn't' instead, just 'cause that's how I personally say things when I'm talking, even if in non-dialogue parts of the story you write it as 'did not' 'cause it's more formal.
But this is only in this chapter that I've noticed it. Seems to be fine elsewhere. Your dialogue is generally really good.
Ok, reading on! *G*

Oh dear :( Poor, ** up Lyce. The way she ended that last entry "but goodbye seems so final". *shakes head* Anyway...I like this touch with the diary entries. Kind of summarises the entire story in bits and pieces, from the point of view of the character I see as the most mysterious of all. Good thinking.

"...it was somewhere between expressionless and shocked [to] the core of his being."
"Willen stood halfway [down/up?] the stairs, leaning against the wall."
Very nice and emotive (and saddening) description here: "My words shattered the silence within me, and I felt the pain bubbling up like lava in a volcano. It ripped its way right through me until I wanted to scream."
"It was snowing [on] the day of Lyce’s funeral."
"I teared [up] again, crying for a tormented, beautiful person that had twisted an innocent game between friends [into] an excuse for suicide."
"I had not [responded to/acted on] it."
General: *SNIFFLE* It's so sad :( Wah. And I can relate to some things like still having names in IM programs, and still having email addies in address books, and so on. Anyway...you guessed it: *reading on* :)

Ok, this was a very good chapter, but I was thinking about the person who left you a note saying they thought the ending was a bit rushed. Had you thought about expanding the chase to find Lyce a bit? I still think this chapter is well written and all but maybe you could have a bit of stuff before it. Perhaps Lyce could die in a different place or something.
Anyway, cold and analytical comments aside, the last few paragraphs of this chapter were especially profound - I think the most amazing part was Willen dropping his shields entirely. Very well written, that.

"What I always do is just [touch] briefly the minds of the people around me."
"Willen just could not provide [for] her anymore."
*sigh* Good writing Kelly. Very good chapter. Must read on or I'll simply faint!

"The girl [in] the painting did not have that [many] recognizable features..."
"In my dream Evan had been serene about it, but [in] this picture he was screaming."
"'[I’d] been consumed by guilt after your and Evan’s trial,' I told him."
The situation with Lyce is creeping me out - it does seem like a perfect moment between friends, but your talk of the decision Lyce has probably made is a bit of a worry :) Just letting you know that your writing's doing the job properly here!*g*
"That night, I think, was the true calm [before] the storm."
"Happy and content [to] the core of my being, I kissed him [on] his hair and closed my eyes."
Ok, very good end to the chapter - I get the feeling all can go downhill from here :) I was thinking maybe Lyce will be planning her own trial, and thinking it won't be too pretty, but anyway...reading on *g*

This sentence I think needs to be rewritten:
"He had wanted to be the first who went through the horrors [for] us, because that would make a statement that he’d be the first who’d make the statement."
The bit after my little suggestion is the most troublesome bit I think.
"...and working out most of the details [of/for] the ordeal."
*LOL* I like this part: "...because the mere sight of the ceiling above my hospital bed was really driving me to drink." I know, not exactly amusing, more dark humour...that I see in it anyway :)
But of course the next day it wasn't true any longer :) I can just see it coming. The horror fades a litte bit over time...and then comes Lyce's trial. Anyway. Reading on!

"...I resigned [myself to] fate once more."
"Lyce smiled charmingly and oh so [innocently]..."
"'...a million times over,” she said[,] breathless." Or "...she said breathlessly."
"...demolished ten years ago, but for some reason it never had [been]."
"How we had stolen cigarettes [off] Willen’s mother..."
"The [staircase] went down, and I was standing on it, and I had no idea how far down it went." (otherwise keep it as 'stairs' and write 'they' instead of 'it')
"My right ankle was [hurting like/as sore as] hell..."
"If the panic [won/should win], I’d be lost."
"Actually, I don’t really [remember how] to do it." (removed a word)
OUCH. just reading the description of her big fall - the snap of bones and all that. *whimpers*
Heehee, I know this probably wasn't meant to be entirely amusing but it did make me laugh: "I was telling the monsters of the dark that they should stay away and not eat my leg..." Poor delirious Manille *sigh* Poor little thing. I want to go and hug her!
"I wouldn’t have it, did they hear me?!" Did you mean 'they wouldn't have it' or did you mean 'I wouldn't', as in, 'I won't allow it'?
"Everyone should try it [sometime]."
Ok, general comment: I love this story! I really liked how you ended this chapter :) Can't wait to read on, so I won't *lol*

"And then to think that we thought beforehand that it would be awful for us to push him off." This sounds like you're saying it'd be awful of them to do it; not that it'd be awful for them to have to. Perhaps you could add that in: "...be awful for us to have to push him off." Or somethign that makes it a little clearer.
"...still [absorbed in/focusing on] his laundry business." I suggested this because you said 'still resuming', but resuming means 'starting again' and he had already started again a moment earlier.
"I was edgy and snappy at the time, probably a pain to be around with." You can have either 'around' or 'with', but you don't need both.
"My first thought when I excused myself [from] the workgroup..."
"Could he be more [cryptic]?"
"...all of the disaster [scenarios]..." Don't need the apostrophe you had in 'scenarios'.
"If Robert had a personal problem I would be far from the [first] person [he would] turn to..." Or else put it like this: "...would be the last person he would turn to..."
"...but all I did was [scare] the living bejeezus out of mom and that guy."
"She sounded [patient] enough, but..."
"My parents[,] the shining gods they once were, were betraying me right [on] the spot..."
"I [knew] I could not. They had meant well..."
"...had congratulated me [on] my birthday and given me a silver bracelet."
"...and Evan because his rich parents gave him insane allowances." (took the word 'of' out of the sentence)
"I sighed and resigned [myself to] my fate." or "I sighed, resigned to my fate."
"I had the feeling [I was] dreaming." or "I [felt] as if I were dreaming."
"I should just have insisted [that she] stay..."
"...together with the four of us [on] the 28th already."
"Lyce was my best friend, she deserved [for me to] be there for her."
General: The tension is building now. I'm still hooked :) Just 'cause I am hooked doesnt' mean Ill read it all in one go (as you've already seen *g*) esp. 'cause I've worked everyday this week - oh and I'm lazy. Yeah. Hehe. But anyway...this is going great so far. Will probably read more tomorrow night, esp. 'cause it'll be the weekend *sigh* p.s. thanks for your review of my newsreaders' story :) Much appreciated! I think you're right...probably won't continue it. I did try writing something more but it seemed kinda...forced. :) See ya soo!

Argh! Bad formatting here! Please fix it up? *smiles at you sweetly* I WILL endeavour to read this chapter though it is gonna be irritating *g* Anyway...
"Eventually, even the ninth of December came. A stormy day: wind and rain were slashing that everything that happened to be in their way". (I rewrote it, whaddiya think?)
"Even as we were walking I was trying to sharpen my [focus]..." I suggest this change because you had 'concentration', which you had in the previous sentence - it sounded repetitive.
"I do recall what I was wearing though, because it’s so clearly imprinted in my mind for some reason: black jeans, a red hooded sweater and my hairy black coat." I took out 'I was wearing' - again, you said it once so don't really need to say it again. I like how you said 'hairy black coat' *g* Cute!
"There were some dark feelings there too, but I did not dare to prod into [those]..."
"I couldn’t help it; I had to laugh." Perhaps it's better as a semi-colon rather than a comma. Word seemed to think so but Word's been known to be wrong. *G* Anyway, just a suggestion.
At this point, Lyce is starting to scare me *lol* I mean sure she scared me with the spider thing, but she is sounding a little *too* fevered here. Anyway...reading on! *g*
"That look has always disturbed me, and she used it [on] Willen now." Or it could be 'directed/shot/pointed it at Willen now', something like that. Up to you :)
*ggls* This was cute in spite of the serious situation: "Even sleeping with my head in a plate of spaghetti seemed like a good idea now." Very nice :P My brother used to do that actually, when he was a baby. *lol*
"He wanted to scream and [thrash] wildly, but he was too afraid that they’d let him go and that he’d fall." ?
Ok, I'm glad that I don't have to live long with this cliffhanger :P Reading on.

"The frustrating thing is that the whole of our friendship was too beautiful [for us] to have done anything differently."
"I think that’s [what's/what is] driving me insane these days."
Just a note: it's SO nice to see someone spell 'mischievous' correctly (I haven't seen it in a LONG time, let me tell you) *g* THANK YOU!
"As if that would make it alright for him. Not really. He turned an even whiter shade of pale.
Evan gritted his teeth. “And how the hell am I supposed to get in there?”
I think this should either be one paragraph, or the second paragraph should be something like this:
"Gritting his teeth, he said, 'And how...'" etc. However, that's just my opinion :)~
"...It’s too risky one escapes otherwise.” I think you missed out a word or two here. Were you talking about the possibility of spiders escaping?
"And damn me if Lyce didn’t only shrug and [smile]:"
"A bit [hesitant], a bit reluctant, but he was very determined."
That dream about Evan was freaky! But very well described. Good job.
"I didn’t know he still felt that way after so such a long time of being a part of our little circle." Don't need 'so such', just take out the 'so'.
"She was taking all of what he could give her, [devouring] it hungrily like a starved person would accept crusts of bread."
"...but there had been no Romeo for her between her colleagues, something I had secretly hoped [for]."
"but I’ve never been able to fully predict her thought-patterns. Too unpredictable." Because she just said that she'd never been able to predict Lyce's thougth patterns, the next sentence is kind of unnecessary. Perhaps you could instead say something like 'too fragmented', or 'too random' or something. Anyway...
"...the tests we had been [subjected] to..."
"...discovery of Elements within people has only been accepted a few years ago." I think this should either be 'has only been accepted for a few years' or 'had only been accepted a few years ago'.
Just thought I'd mention that I'd definitely choose to study Element psychology if I had the choice *g* Maybe in the future? :)
"Anyway, Lyce never did anything with her talent. She [was] vaguely aware of it, because I told her about it, but all she did when I pointed her at the fact was [walk] around in winter without a coat on and make jokes about cold feet in bed."
"I draw [these] charts every day and I still don’t tire of doing it because it’s so damn fascinating!"
I know it was long, but...well...yeah *g* Loving it so far! I'm fascinated by the idea of the Elements. I wish my world was that interesting :p

Hey there Kel, back again. Not much to criticise in this chapter (Love the email idea:). Anyway:
"This time it was dark, the room was illuminated by the full moon shining inside."
I think that should either be a full stop after 'dark', or take out the 'was' from the second part.
"...and we were in the process to go and have sex."
That doesn't read quite right. I tried rewriting it as a suggestion but my rewrite was kinda...crass or something. Not exactly flowing/eloquent. But maybe you can figure something out.
Looking forward to reading more, will do tonight I pwomise :)