WAY to many ! points maybe u should try the nice little thing called the period it looks like this . use it more often and people wont think ur screaming ur ** ** off with all those ! points

okay. this is constructive critism. first- way rushed. rape is huge. you made it seem like a girl just said, "I hate you!" no drama. you need to make it seem more sad- depressing. ya know! i ll keep reading.

i have to say that was an excellent chapter! i so cant wait until ur next update.im curious to what is up with leo.this is so suspenseful.

Hey Cuz,
This is pretty good. I wonder am I on the Second page?? The First page is strange, Even for you! Bye I'll read the rest.

THAT'S MY GIRL! see that wasn't so hard now was it?im proud of u cause u kept on going even though u wanted to give up.well maybe next time u will think twice b4 u think of giving up again or u will ha ve me to deal with.yes shina that is a threat.good job.

i've changed my mind and i've decided to fix chapters 9 and 10 and keep on with the story...as soon as fictionpress lets me upload!! thanks for the support and patience..much luv! ~kittyshina14

LAURA YOU CAN NOT JUST GIVE UP ON YOUR STORY.YOU HAVE GOOD IDEAS YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT THEM TOGETHER TO MAKE SENSE.DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR STORY.YOURE DOING FINE YOU JUST SHOULD TRY TO PUT YOURSELF IN THE CHARACTERS POSITIONS SO YOU CAN GET AN IDEA OF HOW THEY REACT.YOU KEEP ENCOURAGING ME TO FINISH MY STORY BUT HOW AM I GOING TO IF YOU CANT EVEN FINISH YOUR OWN?FINISH YOUR STORY, OK? COMEON WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PERSON YOU WERE GOING TO KILL OFF?I WANNA SEE IT IN WRITING.YOUR WRITING STYLE ISNT BAD YOU JUST HAVE TROUBLE LINKING YOUR EVENTS TOGETHER.START OVER.DONT RE WRITE YOUR WHOLE STORY BUT FROM CHAPT 10 AND ON IMPROVE IT.YOU CAN DO IT.I BELIEVE YOU CAN.DONT GIVE UP NOW YOU ARE ALMOST DONE AND I AM ANXIOUS TO SEE HOW YOUR STORY ENDS.KEEP ON WORKING ON THIS STORY.IF U COMPLETE THIS CHALLENGE YOU WILL PROVE THAT YOURE LIKE ANY OTHER WRITER.YOU FELT LIKE GIVING UP BUT YOU DIDNT AND YOU WILL FEEL AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.DONT BE ** YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER WRITTEN A FIC LIKE THIS B4.IGNORE YOUR BAD REVIEWS AND KEEP WRITING.ARENT U CURIOUS TO WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO LAURA AND ALL THE CHARACTERS?U DO HAVE SEVERAL GOOD REVIEWS SO FOCUS ON THOSE NOT THE BAD ONES.LOTS OF PPL GET BAD REVIEWS AND THAT JUST ENCOURAGES THEM TO WORK HARDER TO PROVE THAT THEY REALLY ARE GOOD WRITERS.DONT GIVE UP ON UR STORY JUST BECAUSE OF A FEW DUMB REVIEWS.DIDNT I TELL YOU I WAS INCREDIBLY TIRED AND CRANKY WHEN YOU ASKED FOR MY OPINION?ANYWAY PLEASE CONTINUE?DO IT FOR MASHKA AND SERANO.

they r going home already?how boring!well keep on writing.i hope it gets better.peace out

this is so much fun!! i need to write more! thanks for reading and reviewing (to all the nicer people.) Keep up the support!

Hard to read, poor paragraph structure, etc etc. If you fix those your stories would be awesome. Keep it up dude.

umm its ok but u have a lot to work on.spelling, grammar, sentence structure, ur story goes too fast, maybe you should get someone to read your stories over and help you out.thats probably why no one wants to read it.your 1rst chapter is way too fast.we barely get to know about laura and she gets into a dilema.you need lots of work and help.

There better be more! Especially since, it being Vegas, a writers' favorite place for trouble and complete changes, is their destination! Keep on updating this quickly! (Don't try to force it, however. Then stories come out bad.) This story is good!

I like this story!
lets see, slots sound like fun... lots of fun... oh i got an idea, something BIG should happen in vegas hehe... involving the CSI! yeah the CSI and .. some more stuff seriously like see that raper guy wandering around or have ms. leigh being watched from afar by some creep or maybe that Matthew Droun person.. oh the possiblities

Dude,no offense,but this story is happening way to fast-it's like "Hi Erik,my sisters having sex" "oh ok whatever" *has sex* "See you at the bar!" *gets raped* Like it's in fast-forward. If you added more detail,this would be great as the plot is pretty good.

Hmph, need more after this!! This story is good! Please tell me there is more to follow??