I rarely have criticism... and I loved the story! Heh. That's criticism, right? :P Nah, more of a comment. Keep up the awesome work! I hope to see another story by you someday. And what about those NaNos...?

EEk, I really like this. Too bad it works so well as a one shot that I don't want to ask for more. ^^;
I liked the pet names and descriptions Darren gave towards the end. The pet descriptions made the story for me. I also enjoyed your use of repetition and how you switched back and forth while he was trying to figure things out.
I think that the description of "Erica" could be a little smoother and that there was a mistake therein, but other than that, your writing flowed well.
"I've never believed in perfection." Very good line, very good story. Not perfect, but still quite good. ^_^

Hell no don't take this down! tho, i'd understand if you did because it bugs you, but i liked it!! I've never really seen anything like this before, and it wasn't hard to follow at all, i loved it!!

*Grins* That was a GREAT one-shot fic! And the fact it's slash make it SO much better! *laughs*

I really liked this piece! Make sure you write LOTS more!

Keep it up!

David
^_^

That was cool! Awesome concept, and I loved this line:

"Holy **!" his mother screamed, dropping the unlit cigarette she held onto Darren's face. "You're supposed to be dead!"

Wicky!

The ending doesn't really work -- a sudden wakeup? Only in the soaps, kid.

Nyah! I liked the bit where his mom said, "you're supposed to be dead!" best. Yes, I'm weird. ^_^ But it's neat! I like how everything just kept breaking in, and poor Darren was all like, "what the hell?" It was neat.