what happened to sebastian? did he just . . . die? you have a great plot/story/everything here, but you might want to describe things in some more detail . . . it all just goes by too fast.

I have to say that this was a very good idea, and that you seemed to have a grasp of what you wanted, but to me it seemed a littler to corny and predictable.

it is a great chapter, but it sounds a bit weird to have him trying to impress melanie as a fault :)

Interesting- You could use a bit more detail but I like it.

i love the way you write - i cant wait for the next chappie - whos this new guy that taps melanie?

aw, a short chapter :( Its still good though! :) update soon

very good, but everything happens so quickly!

aw... so cute - cant wait til the next chapter to see what happenes next!

i really like this story- continue, onegai..

i really liked this chapter although it could have been a bit longer. anyways, please continue

i like it, it's very easy to read which makes it thoroughly enjoying. however, there is one thing- it's kinda confusing at points- so if you could just try to write a little more clearly then it'd be excellent.

Wow! You are such a good updater! The story is getting better and better! I love vampires!

Great story!

The only constructive critizism that I can possibly think of is to lengthen your chapters, escpecially chapthers 23 (I think)

Please add on as son as you can

Can't wait to read the rest!

Good chapter, it's a good continuation of the first one. But did you know that you posted the second chapter twice, and that the third one is missing? Maybe you should look into that.

i liek the beginning though it's a little on the short side. please continue