FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Lidless Eye 2003-07-10 ch 1,   | The rhyming is a little constant again, but it helps bring a lot of flow to the poem, so that's kind of a non-issue. Great work! |
| Life is Love 2003-06-26 ch 1, | I like the speed of this. I like to read some poetry out loud and this is probably one of those times. It deserves to be read out loud. I don't know how you came up with all the rhymes, but you've done a great job. The way some of the lines are split is effective, for example: "inclined to something else" "I declare don't look at me" Good good good. Keri |
| Shadafakup 2003-05-20 ch 1, | Its pretty cool.. Well, the rhyming was quite good I must say.. Though I have no idea how you got so many rhymes.. Has this funky ring to it.. Nicely done.. |
| Faith, Hope and Trust 2003-05-10 ch 1, | You asked for polite critiscism so here it is... The line 'Dreams are done, by the sleeper' might sound better if you said made instead of done, and the line 'say you can understand' might flow better if you stuck 'that' between 'say' and 'you'. I.e. 'Say that you can understand'. Just suggestions, other than that i really liked it, fast paced but still flowed well, confusing but that's the point isn't it... like your style, Faith. |
| Hagar 2003-05-09 ch 1, | This poems just flips over it own head - I can find no other way to describe it. You just can't write anything that isn't *good*, it seems - normally I find my way out of your mazes, but with this poem, i'm still trying to figure which way is up. Hagar. |
| ArIeLLeFaY 2003-05-08 ch 1, | hey! ur bak to writing poetry! im so glad! ur the BEST poet i swear! ^-^ anyway...this was absolutely wonderful! it rhymes so well! |
| Seiten 2003-05-08 ch 1, | This is the best! |
| soulspring 2003-04-27 ch 1, | great rhythm and rhyme. nice job! |
| obsidian katana 2003-04-26 ch 1, | nice poem! i like it, nice rhyme scheme. good job. keep on writing! |
| Kerbi 2003-04-26 ch 1, | dude thats like a rap song, nice rhythm, flows well and i like it! |
| Just Another Face 2003-04-26 ch 1, | Good job ^_^ *Clapz* *LyNdZ* |