I liked the way you seemed to present the characters is such a simple way. I liked as well the last line; I think it was very captivating and left you a while to think about it.
M... there were descriptive sentences that were well put as well. However, there's something about YOU that kind of makes me wonder. You have writing skills and there's enough said by your pen name... but why would you want to flame people instead of actually TRYING to cooperate with the quality of their writing? Don't you want good stories put up on FP? Maybe your work is good enough, but that doesn't mean you have to take advantage of that and critize other people just because they don't have the same way of writing like yours.
Sorry I got off the point; but what made me read this and your profile was that you flamed a story - so I wanted to see what your writing was like. Rather strange perhaps, I found it quite good.

THIS FIC F*ING SUCKS ASS!

I love how you made one girl like her and the other be controversial.

again: aw! brigitte is so sweat and kind to her. thats good. i can see what ur saying. nice job. wow the contrast is amazing. gj izzy. bye. this is fun. lol. ok bye now. c u mon. i read all ur stories. bye.

Wow! I loved that! It was so great - Dniosaur... lol that was funny. i like Nana, she's like one of those feisty old grandma's you come across every so often if you are lucky enough to.

WOW, this is great, very well written, I think you should write a second chapter or somthing

Good job, keep on writing

WOW. Really original, really touching... I've never read anything quite like this story. Makes me feel rather trite, truth be told. I'm really impressed, your writing style is very easy to read, very strong and all in all, just great.

The only criticism I have is there are a few time you use large words when a smaller synonym would have served you just as well, and made the point more clearly. Also, sometimes things are out of context. Like, I'm not sure a voice can be filled with demure.

Still, this story had a strong emotional impact, good characterization and was VERY well-told. Kudos for trying something different.

Kage Chikara, Child Of Shadows