I want to read more! Merlin is so cute! I just wanna go "aw" and pinch his little cheeks ^^ You have to update! :3

Wow, it's nice how Panath look's out for Merlin like that, I'll bet he'll be ok when he get's to school. Till next chapter.

*Mr.Underhill.

Yes it was short, but it's cool, I already know atleast 3 other chapter's have been written so good job, and on to the next chapie.

*Underhill.

I like this chapter, it gives us some view into Merlin's future, I myself didn't know what kind of sorceror he'd be, I'm surprised I didn't figure it out sooner- Fire! A job well done.

*Underhill.

This is nice Josie, such a shame though, the choice layed before them, to dedicate their kin to a manniac or let him live for a short while!? I give it 4 stars, I'm to the next chapter now.

Huey P. F.

This is interesting. You should deffinently keep going. Run with it!

This is starting to get interesting. Some minor spelling mistakes and what not, but that's no real biggie if you just read through the whole thing you'll find them yourselves, most are 'chronical' like using to (as apposed to from) when it should be too. Ah, anyway, hope you keep writing this. Could use some work, the style is a bit childish, but that's actually a good thing right now because of the boy's age. Although I have to think that maybe you should up his age a bit, just a year or two would suffice. Best of luck to you!

I'm kinda confused .. the bad boys held the spider in their hands as if it could not hurt them ... and did they wish the death of the boy?

And the queen said that it would not hurt the boy .. to watch .. but it has almost killed him.

There is much here that is not explained ... will we understand better soon ... or do you need to rewrite this chapter?

Have youo ever tried my suggestion of reading it out loud ... sometimes that reveals problems that the eye alone does not catch.

I think the length is fine but I still think it would br good to elaborate more on the characters and the surroundings ... not a lot ... just things for instance that make each girl seem different from the other ... one squints .. another pulls her ear lobe ..one hums a happy tune ... one scolds ... I'm not very good at this kind of thing but know it when I see (or read) it. Maybe a picture on the wall .. or a special fabric for a curtain ... etc etc

The story is progressing very well. I am enjoying it. A little more description wouldn't hurt .. I mean .. get into their heads a bit more and describe the surroundings a bit more ... just a bit.

Even though the beginning of the story was a bit slow, I still think that there is a lot of potential here so ceep at it.

Josie .. I am really impressed! You got off to a slow start it seemed to me, but once you got your teeth into the story it started to flow very nicely.

I'm hooked and plan to follow the story as it developes. And that is the basic success of what you have written ... you have developed the story to the point where your readers should begin to CARE about Merlin because he is becomming real to them.

My only suggegstion would be to go back over the beginning and make it strong enough that you capture your readers interest before you loose them.

Gramp

Good so far. ^.^ I like Merlin--he's such a cutie. The gate scene was an interesting idea! Keep writing. ^^

Hey, i just read this story, and i love it! KEEP WRITIN ON IT!!

i like this story alot. and i dont like alot of stories! but anyways hurry up and update!