Wow. I love the idea, but I hope you are not even close to finished. So many more things have to happen. Well, if nothing else does, then build up the previous chapters. Go into more detail about things, like Leon's time with Ireina and Atara, how their love builds, Leon's past, his time in the dungeon, the other assassins(which I think are incredibly weak, even though I know Leon is the best. I mean, come on). I need more emotion, more story, more everything. I love it and don't want to see it wasted. You can definitely tell where you haven't picked it up in a while. Transitions and chapters are extremely choppy. Your change in time and writing appears in the text. Put more emotion into your writing, and more words. Describe exactly what you are thinking. That does not mean explain every little thing. There has to be an element of mystery and subtext. I think this could be an extremely good story. Spend the time on it since you do not update it much. I am waiting impatiently for the next. It has almost been a year since you last updated. Man, I hate waiting.

Awesome story ^^ I just read the whole thing today and I love it so far!! I liked the whole dream part where she see's her future child, that was really cool. Keep on writing!

Wow! I really love this story... the best thing about one's as good as this is that they give me inspirations that make my own stories even better.

heygreat story just a few things could make it better. u have a few spelling mistakes and in the beginning u could have used more descripiton. it felt like you were only skimming over the surface of what the story could really be like

OMG! I LOVE IT! UPDATE!! PLEASE!! this RoCkS! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! GOOD JOB!

*HUGE GASP* OMG! Ah!! No!

I thought those two "evil" guys were supposed to be supreme, like the elite people. They were beated within minutes.

But whatever, it doesn't matter. Your story rocks!

OMG! *insert likes about chapter here*

Tears were streaming down my eyes! I was so sad! the letter was SO SWEET!

But as I was reading right, these were my comments. (I'm doing this as i read)

""However, to prove your loyalty, your next assignment will be to assassinate.the girl named Ireina," Satsugai commanded with a smug look on his face."

oh. my. GOD! NO!Atara was my favorite character!! WHY WHY?!?!?I KNEW IT! As soon as Ireina said, "promise me you won't leave me" I knew that he'll leave her. I KNEW IT!AWESOME. Good job, this story rocks.

Dude! He can't just die! She just saved him and everything! I HATE cliffhangers! You MUST write more soon!

Great story! Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update again soon!

~E1pnvn

This is awesome! I love it!Mizu-San

very interesting story. I like it a lot. The transitions are a little fast, but otherwise good.

This is a very good story so far! Keep up the good work! :)

hm...cliffhanger...darn...oh well good job again.hurry up with the update pls...-BL

haha Ireina goes on the warpath lol^_^gj-BL