I like the ending. Good alliteration- very Poe-ish. My publisher says to do things like this. . .observe things and then write about them. . .awesome piece. :)
-Jessica

I for one liked it. The rythem was great! I could actually hear it being read, it was so well done. ^^
Although cigarettes kill and all, society today has downplayed the dangers of smoking to such an extent that at first, I thought the dramatic air of the poem was somewhat repressed by the ending. But the more I think about it, the more I think it works perfectly. It makes you think.
Plus, what better way to peaque someone's curiosity, than with a summary telling them that the ending might annoy them? ^^

~Infinity

Well this i liked becuse well it could go any which way i want it to MWAHAHAHAHAHA! ER @_@ right great work i loved it.

~Angerona the Goddess Death~

i realy like the poem, its sorta playful with its swirling n junk hehe... um, i also love the way it builds up till the end, but i think itd be better if at the end u just put smoke smoke smoke... or sumthing cuz i think the cool thing about the poem is that u could percieve it any # of ways or it could be lika head trip and just be tonsa dif things changing... well still good.

*adds u 2 favs*

This is good, I like the last lines that describe the kind of smoke it is. I like the way you lead up to the end, at first the smoke is bad, but then it tricks you and makes you think you need it. Smoke can be like that, and I think the ending is good because some people just get addicted to cigarettes because of temtation. Good job.

~Shelila~

Hmm... I was thinking along the lines of smoking pot... but hey, since the ending was cigarette, it's all fine by me. Great thinking, Shad. And a great piece too.

You should publish! Using such a simple theme you created a great piece. Diferent styles of structure that fit in perfectly. Way too good. More more more!

hm... well, i dont particularly like the ending bc it makes it seem more realistic and less imaginary, fantasy-like, and it also makes it seem like thats how you are supposed to perceive it, so it cant be taken any other way. However, it was still a great piece of poetry.

I really liked this one.It has nice imagery and a preetty good flow to it.

oh very interesting

very well written, i liked all the descriptive... stuff. lol

hmm i need to study for my poetry test :)

lotsa luv
jazzo

damn, this has to be one of the best i've seen in a while, my fav of yours. it was amazing, the smoke could be many different things but i saw it as this depressive void, where the smoke consumes you completly and dare i say becomes your only friend, maybe that it's the only part of you that seems alive. i lived it, awesome job!

Jasmine

ya know .. i lik ehow you ended it. it shows the fate of humanity falling into mortal traps. very greek ending :) kudos :)

wow, i really like the poem, the description, i've done something in that style, but i'll admit you've done it a lot better (shakes fist!) anways great poem, your others are pretty good too, please don't put yourself down, but the last line's kinda flat (just a thought?)

that's...beautiful...and you claim that I had talent...this is amazing...keep up the good work!

What should I say..?
Very enticing. Heh.