nice rhyme scheme, neat choice of words, and interesting meter, but it comes across as kind of trite the fallacy and corruption of the system you are exposing is much more grave and sinister.

A very good poem about greed. I really like this!

Good poem. Nice job. Keep writing please.

i like this poem a lot-- your other poems are good too-- :)
thanks for reviewing mine--
fc

This is very good. and flamers are stupid. lol ^_^

that is REALLY COOL! i mean, visualization, big time. i really like your descriptions! i'm using too many exclamation points... oh well :D

kewl... me like this one... money...
did you know, your not supposed to color money, it's illegal? i found that out yesterday... weird. they think of everything, ya?
baibai>yukie

I hate corporate capitalism, and having to really kill your inside's to make it somewhere in this world.

I plan on supporting myself so that it won't be a problem... this poem is hard hitting, nice job.

I see that ideas you're trying to present in your poem.
BTW, the "Music Boxes are Junk" piece was a "cut" haiku. It goes: 7-5-3-1, and I think was introduced to fp.com by Princess Mulan.

Awesome! Great choice of words!

I've always wanted to see what someone would do with this subject. Seriously! This was great work and it was a joy to read. I liked the line "everyone's souls is now on sale" the best. It had a lot of truth to it.


~Heart of the Sword

This is the first poem of yours that I have read and it is amazing. I read through your whole Bio and I feel like I really know you. I find that very considerate when someone takes the the time out to do that. ^_^ I love your sense of humor...^_^

I agree wholeheartedly.

I agree..corruption is becoming a popular theme. I like the line 'monkey see as monkey buy' creative.

Capitalism is sort of fun, isn't it? Good description of it here...