FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Deathra 2004-11-27 ch 1,   | This is great, aswell. I really like your stories. They capture my emotion so well... ~Satisfaction~ |
| Gercian 2003-12-01 ch 1, | i see one thing that you could fix.. u use the same words over and over again.. use different words with same meanings.. like... |
| depressed*star 2003-11-28 ch 1, | OMG. thats exactly whats goin on with me and my friends now!! VERY GOOD!! |
| Lina Inverse 2003-11-19 ch 1, | I can entirely relate to the feelings. As for improvements... I think that you try too hard to make your writing "good". Of course, I'm not asking you to say "U goT ur gol!" but, really, if you were yelling at this person, would you say "You finally achieved your goal!" or would you say somthing closer to "You got what you wanted, **." I think it's important in an angry poem to keep every line angry. While you did most lines very well, a few could use some work. |
| Suicidal Butterfly 2003-06-23 ch 1, | Like this one. Its very nice. it seems to be flowing with emotion./ |
| Dawn/Aprt 666(tolazytosigni... 2003-06-17 ch 1, | This isn't to bad of a poem, I liked it alot. It kinda reminds me of someone I know...oh well, write more! |
| Lovely White 2003-06-11 ch 1, | Wow.. I love angry poems.. lol.. It was really good though. |
| duckrebel 2003-05-28 ch 1, | Oh! I like it! I think the last two lines are fine. P.S. Here's your cookie! |
| Shadow 3013 2003-05-26 ch 1, | Very good emotions. I don't often read works with so much cussing, but for some reason it didn't bother me this time--probably because it fit so well. You're right, the last stanza seems a bit off, but I can't think of a good way to fix it. I'll be looking forward to more of your writing! |
| Cirien Phoenix 2003-05-24 ch 1, | You know what? I like the title as Last Laugh because it makes you sound strong enough to fight her desire for him. By the way, nothing lasts forever, so maybe he'll come back to you. Just an intruiging thought for you. Anywho, I like this a lot. ~Cirien Phoenix |
| not sure yet 2003-05-22 ch 1, | i like it, its fairly well written and bitter, enjoyed it muchly, nicely done |
| Silent Dreamer 2003-05-22 ch 1, | wow this is really good i know this feeling a lot! |
| Andrea 2003-05-16 ch 1, | I liked what the poem ment, but I think you could have used more unique lines and it would be really neat and interesting. For the title maybe "He's Yours" or maybe a short line in the poem. ~Andrea p.s. write me back and tell me what you thought of my ideas!! |