Nice poem, very sad and mysterious. The second to last stanza was my favorite.

Hi,

I like your style of writing. It is good to have a variety of poem styles to show that you have creativity and imagination. This is a sad poem but it has a good rythum to it which i like.

Thanks :)

I doubt anyone without a knowledge of the events written about can truly understand it, so I'll try and focus more on mechanics. I like how you made use of rhyme, but I hate how it was sporadic. No rhyme scheme, then a loose rhyme scheme, then a solid scheme, ect. While I don't like the fluctuations, I'm still glad it's there. One thing I don't like is the tone. To Be Dead is so forceful and powerful, while this is passive. But, that is probably just a case of the different point of few. Unfortunent, but not much you can change. Last, I the metaphors used. Watching the person bleed, the thorns in the mind, ect. They really help to paint the emotions in the poem. Bravo.

I'm sure you already know what I'm going to say...very good...well, much, much more than that...keep it up, it's getting me where it counts...you know, that "crimson, beating, flowing jewel between the breaths of life"? ok, that was corny...anyway, keep it up!

wow, interesting and yet the tone of it is extremely sad, i love it, excellent flow and very weird kinda sense of just seeing people waiting around near a telephone or searching through a house, good imagry in that sense, without actually ever coming out and saying it per say, anywayz, beautiful job, muchly fun

Hmm... this is quite unique. Telephone Tragedies, huh? Mutters to self E-Mail Tragedies...

COUGH Well anywho. _** I liked this quite a lot! Very distinguished - good when someone makes something you'd never really thought about before. Of course, given my phone phobia, that's not saying TOO much... but I over-analyze things and... ... okay, shutting up now. _** (Sorry, feeling sparatic tonight)

What I'm TRYING to say is this - good work! And the rhythme too was unique. So kudos to you. :D

Also, thanks for reviewing "Self Sedition" - haven't gotten many reviews lately. _**

Touching and heartfelt..Awesome piece! Keep writing..

this is my favorite song/poem of yours. it has definite rhythm, and the idea behind it is very well developed. nice job!