Reviews for Angel's of Death - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Angel's of Death

Pose For Me 2004-01-26 ch 3,	Wow, that's a buttload of background info. Very groovy. Wow, I feel wired now. Haha. I'll read more tomorrow! ^_^ Regina O.B.
Pose For Me 2004-01-26 ch 2,	Mucho long Chapters! But I'm so loving the story! puts story on favs Yay, more chapters!! Regina O.B.
Pose For Me 2004-01-25 ch 1,	Holy Guacamole! That is one long ** chapter!! I'm very sorry to say that I have not completed this chapter, but so far-- for what i have read, i like the story. I stopped at the part where Jonathan is jumping up and down asking to go watch the fight over at the towers. I promise I'll finish this chapter and start the next one tomorrow! It is very late-- but I will stay true to my promise! Regina O.B.
Demeter Rose 2003-07-29 ch 6,	Ah, the pattern continues. All we Demetri's are scoundrels. Oh well...evil laughter..we're just so good at it. Okay, I'll be serious now. My main suggestion is that you watch your scene breaks and mark them somehow. It's real confusing, at one point it looked like Dy was working for Anais. Your plotline is is moving along and is still quite good, and Erin has supplanted Jonathan as my favorite--it's all in quirks. :)
Demeter Rose 2003-07-29 ch 4,	Critques first: You might what to add some more tension in the scene where Ramses is talking to Den and Dy. The transition from first person to third person after the meeting with the gang people is very jarring. Praise: The obsession with chocolate chip cookies works well. It adds a good bit of humor.
Grunge Muffin 2003-07-19 ch 5,	Still loving this story. Keep going. As for constructive crit, I don't really have any other than some or your sentences are a little bit long, maybe you shouldn't use so many comma's. that, and the obvious spelling and grammer errors that everyone makes. Other than that, it's a really interesting story with a great plot, and I am really enjoying it.
Grunge-Muffin 2003-07-15 ch 4,	I really, really like this story, and you really, really need to update faster. Please please PLEASE! it's drives me mental. But other than that, it's all good. Keep going.
Grunge Muffin 2003-06-21 ch 3,	Cool, very cool. Please update soon, cause this is a cool, cool story.
Grunge Muffin 2003-06-20 ch 1,	Wow. this is soo, soo good. I really love it, but I don't have time to read the rest right now. Glasshouse is on. Sorry, but I will be back to read the rest later.
Demeter Rose 2003-05-22 ch 2,	I still like your plot. And I love Ramses's stoic-almost jaded--tone. It might be a good idea for you to put some type of scene break when you swap from first-person Ramses to third-person limited Dana. The sudden change is really confusing. It takes away from what is otherwise a good read.
Demeter Rose 2003-05-22 ch 1,	I like the tone that you're writing and the basic idea of your story. At this point I have two suggestions for you. One, perhaps you could seperate the nonessential parts of your sentences with commas or dashes. That would make the flow of thought much clearer. Two, if you spend a bit more time introducing your group of vampires to the reader and developing their characters further before introducing the main plot the audience will care more about them. And just from the taste I've gotten you seem to have a pretty good cast for this story. I like Jonathan in particular.
Destin 2003-05-19 ch 1,	All I could say is WOW. Is this really your first story ? Cause your really god at this ! I loved it alot ! Your writing style is really good, and your plot is excellent ! Please write more soon. And can you please read one of my stories ? I would be really happy ^_^ Update soon ! -Destin Scar

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