FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| cramer 2003-11-02 ch 1,   | this was ok... not amazing, but its ok. It sort of conveys alot of emotions all at once. Keep writing... you'll get the hang of it... |
| LadyAnesta 2003-07-22 ch 1, | thats a really good poem... it reminds me of my first time riding without training wheels... it was very painful ;) great job :) ~Anesta |
| Once in a blue moon 2003-06-09 ch 1, | I like the mental picture of this poem. I was just wondering what was the actually asignment for this poem? Since it was a non-ryhming (though there was some alliteration, intentional or not) it is a bit hard to hold together. Not to offend fat people or anything, but that's what poetry that doesn't ryhme is like if you don't do it perfectly. Fat people kinda stick out of their clothing funny. So, the clothing is like the perfect non-ryhming poem. That's where everything fits perfectly. The sticky out bits of fat people are the parts that differ from the beat, because it doesn't quite fit right. So, this poem is a bit chubby, if you understand now. Every once in a while the beat felt off. Oh, and a book to suggest: "Sabriel" by Garth Nix. There are 2 more books after that as well. Veryveryvery good! |
| Almost Infamous 2003-06-02 ch 1, | Aww... My father is the only man in my life who can garentee he will always love me. No matter how many hissy fits I throw. |
| Dad 2003-05-24 ch 1, | I remember the event very well! And I am glad you came back with your bloody knees... |
| Frodo 2003-05-23 ch 1, | Aww... I remember when I first learned how to ride my bike. It's so funny to look back on it. It's funny to look back on a lot of stuff I did when I was a kid. Nice work. Intresting way to write it. Keep it coming. -Frodo p.s Oh yes, I am very serious about killing Avril. She must die. She can't write or play guitar, and she knows it! The evil basterd! Trys to fool us, but no... we're too smart... just too smart. Yes, we must divise a plan to kill her. |
| cosmo-queen 2003-05-23 ch 1, | An original poem about an experience that we can all probably relate to, even though we might not remember it. Good poem, keep writing :) *cosmo-queen* |
| suzibean 2003-05-23 ch 1, | aw, cack!! there are no spaces where the spaces should be!! before "then," there should be a space, and before "hearing his..." anyway, this is kinda a biographical piece, but it's not very good im afraid... |