FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Burning Moon 2004-02-13 ch 1,   | perfect . . . all there is to say . . . 1 thing, tho: "The two lovers left heartbroken As the girl was lead from view." . . . no a in led . . . but the idea and the rhythm n the rhyming . . . wow |
| Cal Miskimen 2004-01-19 ch 1, | Great holy jahosophat! I cannot BELIEVE YOU! This is awsome. Better then any love drama I've ever read! (INCLUDING Romeo and Juliet). Astounding. Meraculious(sp?). I cannot get over the wonderful way you wrote this. Forget about violin girl, go for some kind of Enlgish! You inspire me so. I hope you know this. Rather then making this a poem of expressions you made it into a picture, painted with lively colors and everything inbetween. My mind was enveloped in the poem as soon as I started. Captivating! Every word written could not have been replaced otherwise it would not have been the same. Awesome! And the rhyming scheme! ABCDEFGH, pure, purely wondrous. I am utterly impressed by your talent at such a young age. You could be the next Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. BUT BETTER! Young Woman, you have been given a gift from God, and you'd better as stick use it! God Bless you, God Bless you. AHH! Guy McLaughlin. PS. I am greatly liked by a lot of people here on fiction press, but obviously they have never read your stuff. It would do me great honor to have you review some of my writtings. |
| Be Summer Rain 2003-09-20 ch 1, | This gave me chills. (And not just because it's cold in the basement.) Seriously, it's amazing. So very sad... (is sended a word) ~Laura |
| InSpiteOf 2003-06-27 ch 1, | Ah, I loved your poem! Beautiful. I adored the rhyme scheme and your word usage. A great poem, a great poem. Keep writing... I look forward to reading more. |
| CholeieRoLL 2003-06-22 ch 1, | thats a really touching poem, it reminds me of romio and juliet, i love how you had an ABCB format with the rhyming |
| Wasted Postage 2003-06-11 ch 1, | Excellent excellent work! It sounds a lot like Romeo and Juliet only not. I'm sorry, I am even confusing myself. In any case, great work! |
| Needa S 2003-06-02 ch 1, | Excellent! You and Ben make a great team. Do Keep writing... |
| Gloden Moon and Silver Sun 2003-05-31 ch 1, | *Sob* That was sad. I loved it! LOL Golden Moon and Silver Sun. a.k.a. Angel 1 |
| keng2116@bellsouth.com 2003-05-27 ch 1, | whew i knew her when i did |
| MistrissD 2003-05-26 ch 1, | OMG! I love this! The rhyming is so cute and the story is so wonderful, I can totally picture the story going on in my mind, your so talented, I love this so much I can't even begin! |
| fool-of-a-took2 2003-05-26 ch 1, | Wonderful job Mary Helen! You HAVE to use this one for english. It's so cool that you actually tell a story through it - whenever I try doing that, and making it rhyme and all, I end up with lines like "I like cows, but not raw." Lol. It's so sad, but so good! I love it! |
| CatieZee 2003-05-26 ch 1, | Wow, hun, this is really good! The language is totally awesome (except, sended isn't a word, but I'm sure you knew that). It's sad though, like Romeo and Juliet, but still really good. Excellent job, honey! |
| PeachPawz 2003-05-26 ch 1, | Oh, that was so good! It was beautifully-written! Oh, my gosh! It's fantastic! *dies* ~Peach |
| Demeter Rose 2003-05-26 ch 1, | Narrative poetry is a hard thing to write and it looks like you've got it. one suggestion, swap escorting and courting in the first two lines. It doesn't quite make sense the way it is now. |
| LauraLizz007 2003-05-26 ch 1, | that is so beautiful! i love the rhyme sceme, they don't seem forced, they just... flow. very beautiful! > Laura |