FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Nobody1 2003-06-02 ch 1,   | i can appreciate this. theres something too it, but you kind of just rushed right through it. i would describe things in more depth. like when she gets stabbed, you go into depth about how serious the pain is and what effects it has on your action (like everytime she thrusts her sword she feels a blinding pain in her side and must do everything she can just to stay standing). or emphasize how determined she is to keep fighting, and to assure that they are victorious. -Nobody |
| J. Graham 2003-05-27 ch 1, | Made me think of Joan of Arc or one of the Amazon warriors. Very good, well written, vivid. |