Reviews for The Gypsy Sorceress

Reviews For: The Gypsy Sorceress - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

alineofprose 2004-07-11 ch 1,	This is an awesum start! I cant wait to read more!
alineofprose 2004-07-11 ch 4,	I hate mandy! she's so b*y! this is an incredible story man!
alineofprose 2004-07-11 ch 10,	please, please continue, I love this story!
elasandra 2004-05-27 ch 10,	NIce...update soon
KiraLyrin 2004-05-02 ch 10,	Wow! It's a really good story! But I agree when you said it was a bit rushed, but now its slowing down and is at a good pace. Please keep writing!
Brooke 2004-03-18 ch 1,	I like it so far. Keep writing! :)
Thorn of a Rose 2004-03-04 ch 10,	I hope they work it out! Goodluck with your fic
Aisatsana 2004-01-26 ch 10,	hey! this is a really good story so far! The idea is really interesting and creative.. I also like your use of description.. Just one thing.. in the first chapter I dont think you should have her look in the water.. it really is a little cliche..instead of describing her all in one go you should spread out your description.. i.e. "Her green eyes glinted as she laughted scornfully.. " or "she flipped her long auburn hair..bla bla" I think that would make your story flow much better.. Anyway Good work! Looking forward to reading the rest! ~Aisatsana Please review my work.. I could really use some feedback! Thanks!
Deafgurl's world 2004-01-05 ch 10,	Mandy is evil?I hope Kara will cure her to become good girl. I can't believe Mandy is so jealous of kara. Will Mandy carry her boyfriend's baby?Can't be impossible!Hurry update soon. Please don't let Kara died.
Laura 2003-11-08 ch 1,	Wow. I can't read any further until you fix these glaring mistakes: It is SO common for the beginnings of stories written by teenage girls to commence with the lovely appearance of the main character by having her look at her reflection in a mirror/pond/whatever. Though it's important to be able to visualize the character, you can save it for a little later and be less blatant about it. Don't add "he chuckled" or "he said" or "he muttered while brushing his hair" after every quote. Let it flow smoothly ... Example: "How is your painting coming?" Jan asked tentatively. Bob chuckled and replied, "Fine." She nodded. "Are you using your favorite colors?" "Yep." "That's nice ... And how about that new brush I bought you?" "I'm using that too." See how I didn't add an action or a "he said" "she said" after every quote? Once you establish it in the beginning, you can carry on with just quotes for quite some time. As long as there aren't like .. three or four people talking at once.
I am Gone 2003-09-19 ch 10,	This is quite wonderful.I really like how this is going.
D.Y 2003-07-16 ch 1,	"Taking the wet clothes out she placed them on a spread out blanket and placed her hand over them." You repeated "placed" two times. Did you mean to do that? You have a lot of repetition in the first paragraph. Unless, you keep it as style, you should look over it. Hehe. My friend has a dog named Shadow. ""Yes he is." Kara clapped her hands sharply and Shadow quickly got off the boy, taking a seat next to his master." Master is masculine, maybe mistress? But that sounds too suggestive... Great start of a story. I notice that you're characters blink an awful lot. But that's all good. Keep up good work.
My Works 87 2003-07-08 ch 10,	Since you admitted that this story was rushed I won't mention that. Other than that I really like it. I can picture the scenes nicely and the charaters are cute. I am a fan of your writing so naturally I would like this one too. If you keep it up I'll bet you'll be publishing you're own works some day!
Chamzel 2003-07-03 ch 10,	Update! Update! =) Awesome story! Keep it up!!
Hawk Mage 2003-06-13 ch 10,	Sorry for not reviewing on this sooner. Very good. Keep it up.

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