octavio man, u rock. u are such a great writer. keep it up. i wish i had as much talent as u. u really have a gift. i cant wait to read more of what u write!!

Good story, I like it.. I look forward to reading more

Nice. ^^ You may want to tell us more about what the characters look like, but besides that, everything else is good, especially the amount of detail you put in this (something that I tend to not do XD).

I'll be keeping an eye on this. Update soon!! =D

Hm...you might want to separate the paragraphs more. It would make it a bit easier to read ^_~ Good idea. I like the idea behind this. Please continue. Oh, and you might want to put in some description on what the characters look like. It will bring the readers into the story more. Anywho...me like! Me like! And thanks for the comment!

hello, nice story. can't say any more. no more to say

Very nice beginning to an interesting story! There are lots of details to really bring the setting to life.

Nice way to use your summary. Heh. Well, continue on. The story has potential and Zuma sounds interesting. You may want to separate the paragraphs more. By the way, thank you for reviewing.