FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| szelij 2003-06-10 ch 12, anon. | abusenice try,but try to make it a lil bit mroe realistic. If the girl is pregnant and in high school, she wont be so cool abt it...she'll prolly be like omg omg |
| Black-Rose7 2003-06-08 ch 9,  | abuseWow. It just gets worse and worse. |
| Black-Rose7 2003-06-07 ch 1, | abuseOh, and you incorrectly spelt 'write' on your profile... After reading more of your work I discovered that the lack of punctuation is a running theme... When you get reviews from people using dialect such as 'dis' on a literary website, it's time to worry. |
| Black-Rose7 2003-06-07 ch 2, | abuseOK, the plot in itself is good, but it's let down by lack of setsnce and vocabulary variation as well as lack of punctuation. It kind of reads like this: hey wake up I don't wana we have to get up and go to church oh great fundraiser yeah... It's like having one, long, continuous inward conversation - not good. |
| LivingWitThrill 2003-06-07 ch 1, | abuseintersting plot...but its just dialouge you could add things in |