It reminds me so much of Edgar Allen Poe, do you read a lot of his work? Especially these two lines:

Where in dank devil basements the
Rank vile replacements line


The rhyming reminds me of The Raven. It leaves me feeling that I've just only scraped the surface.

I've re-read it a couple of times and retain a sense of inadequacy, as a reader. There is *obviously* a lot below the surface but the surface is also highly patterned and sparkly. Um. You can tell I'm a bit inarticulate when I have to resort to metaphor. This is highly invocative (is that a word?) imagery here. I love the implications of the repeated electricity/computer metaphor.

damn. i love this. "Power lost with ripcords dangling/And their wrist veins all entangling/From the sockets of disgrace" - brilliant.

ei... i can't believe you were the sa,e person who made this...
anywayz, about your email... the truth is... i don't really understand...
you're younger than me(i just turned 17) but you know where you're heading and you hold on to something so strongly... while i, well... life sucks... ^0^

This was an excellent poem. I loved the way you wrote it, very unique and the word choice was excellent. I loved the alliteration you had going, with phrases like "Sockets spitting sparks" and "slow sluggish sandman." Great work, keep writing :)
*cosmo-queen*

This is fantastic!
wish i could say more but i don't have the time. I mean DAMN! ~stricken dumb with amazment~

Cheers!

Dear God. I mean it when I say this is the best poetry I've ever seen. Not just on this site, ever. I love it, the way you rhymed, the conveyance of hopelessness, and the same computer metaphor... wow... I am going to read your other stuff, definitely, because this is truly powerful stuff. Congrats!

they say that there's connections to be
made here-
lives outstretched like cold hands
(waiting to be warmed by someoneanyoneeveryone)

and what are we but poets? made to
romanticize things we
see but don't quite understand, you know-

the worst thing in the world is a day
misunderstood


Ok. that was weird. Props for the poem, but sorry, I read too much crap/teen angst here to be able to feel anything genuine for some of these people.

I think that this is an excellent piece of work! The beginning seems to be a bit akward, or at least the rhymes aren't very obvious. I think that, if this was reworked a little like getting rid of some of the off-ended lines, ex."Untouched without data when a" it sounds rather incomplete, in context or not.

I love the work, it really relates to my life. Did i mention that I love it?
Keep it up!

OMG I loved it! Keep up the ggod work!
~Nadine
PS. r&r my poem Obsession please!

I am very impressed. And I am honored that you were inspired by the angstiness of fp. Hehe, I don't know, it was brilliant.
~Nizzy