FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Celeb Ryu 2003-10-16 ch 1,  | abuseWow, I really like it! That's always been one of my fav JoJ songs... |
| Zarancids 2003-07-31 ch 1, | abuseThat was cool, it defiantly gives you visuals of that evil woman. One aspect I've noticed is over wording. An example I can give is, "Bleakly, she looks around at the room which is her reality." Perhaps a better sounding phrase would be "Bleakly, she looks around at the room, her reality." You might want a semicolon though. I, personally, didn't get a vivid enough picture of the woman. What is her eye color? Is her skin pastey white? How long are her fingernails? Tell me, did you expand this off of a song you have? Also, try NOT to use "because." So, keep writing...you have a creative touch. Peace, Zarancids |
| Mitchy Sextacular 2003-07-10 ch 1, | abusedamn, you are so good at writing so much emotion and detail, im speechless kinda depressing tho, and kinda disturbing. but i know and love you so what the hell i wish i had my own world... love from mitch |
| marabelle 2003-07-02 ch 1, | abuselol, THAT was really good, your an amzing author, i wish i cud write like that! well, that was a bit...creepy, but not really, its weird, its really creative and extreamly well done! im not one with sentences, not at all, youve, like, mastered the power of the sentences with the words...im babbling, anyways your work is amzing, dont stop, yay! bai best wishes ella. sarah. |
| Wolfie02 2003-06-26 ch 1, | abuseWell, I wish I could write a review as constructive as the ones that you give me, but Im really not good at that sorry :'(. It's really good and well writting. ~wolfie02 =P |
| Wicked89 2003-06-17 ch 1, | abuseOH MY GOD. *Vivica* you are a freakishly good author!This was wow.It was perfect.Don't we all want that world?One where all those insignificant people would grovle at our feet,cry because we pained them...*sighs*Right. Anywho...It really makes the song so much better.lol. Love and Pain (hahaha) *Jessicka* |
| Jill Budd 2003-06-13 ch 1, anon. | abuseA very good story. Very realistic. I liked it because you can actually, in a way, feel what the person feels in her heart, even though it is a little grotesque. lol but thats really kool! keep on writing cuz ur storys r really good |
| pp 2003-06-13 ch 1, anon. | abuseThis is a great story , keep writing, im sure if u start writing more civilized stuff ull become a world famous author, jkjk, dont change ur style its cool, its different, i like that, ok now im rambling on, ijust want to say ull make it far in life with this style of writing |