Wow. This is extremely good!

I love your phrasing in the first half of the second stanza.

hey that was a good poem. you are a good writer maybe one of my favorites. if u want you should read some of my poems and review them to let me know if u like or hate them ( and or what u like or hate about them) i suggest ("time", "life(or a small part of it)", "you f* c* and girl1/girl2) thanx

Wow. The visualistaion in this was so powerful! I loved it! You have some definate talent here, alot more then some, I advice you to keep using it for sure!

Keep it up and blessed be

Elvellon