amazing! this was very, very good. it was just slightly off your usual flawless rhythm, but actually i think it worked better that way: imperfection to describe an imperfect life. besides, the incredible imagery MORE than made up for it ~ i was definitely awestruck quite a few times while i read it. loved "the lost last words" idea, it was ingenious and captivating. "it's a vexing circumstance to be lame when asked to dance," and "i pierce it like a spear," also really stood out. but my absolute favorite part was the end: "i fall and stagger to my knees, choking on death's guarantees/my life's red tears pools in a mere, i killed myself instead." needless to say i was completely baffled by that (in a good way). it was so incredibly VIVID that it was painful. fantastic job on this one chico. MUCH kudos!

...sniff...sniff
now I'M depressed,
look what you did you moron
if you get a letter in the mail saying i killed myself you're gonna feel pretty stupid...

but it was an awesome poem, poet

hey good poem. keep up the good work. r+r some of my poems ( i suggest girl1/girl2, this one is called f* you and time) peace

this is cool! Hehe...death @_@ that's how i feel! how dare you! LMFAO! j/k! Not about how I feel but still...

BVR~Loves~?-?-? Hehe!