Wow, really good poem. It flows nicely and the idea is so clever. It's nicely described and overall...great!

I love this! It flows really well and it also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes,"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." That was said by Kurt Vonnegut by the way. Keep up the great work!

Awesome. That last bit with the silver playing card...*shivers* Way to create tension. =)

I like it. Very creative, original, and all that.

I liked your closing too.

Striving for rhyme? "Doesn't she see, he will never return; Will she always long until her ashes are in an urn?" I'm not saying it's bad, because it's quite a good poem. Just that, you may want to work on creating smoother rhyme, or maybe eliminating rhyme all together. I'm only here to constructively critisize, not to flame.

Also, the poem has a good idea, a good theme. Keep up the good writing! Aevum has quite a good start as well.

Wow. This was a very powerful poem. Are you a gambler? It seems you know what the two sides are: winning and loosing. I loved the imagery.

Excellent poem... I love how this is described. Great work, I look forward to your future writings!